Counting down...

My thoughts have been swirling all week about the fact that my daughter, my baby, is about to turn a year old. I almost can't bear the thought! I find myself clutching her to me, especially during those middle of the night wakings, cuddling her against my chest, burying my nose in the sweet scent of her hair and warm baby neck. Willing the clock to slow down, for just a moment or two, and let me capture the memory of her wee hands clutching to my shoulders as she slumps, trusting, into me. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have this last forever! It breaks my heart, it really does, to have to face the fact that she is -literally - stepping away from babyhood and moving into her childhood. How do I bear this???

I continue to console myself with the excitement and joy I find at each new milestone and accomplishment she reaches, knowing that each stage she leaves behind promises something new and equally endearing for me to love about her next phase.

For now, I want to take a few moments to reflect on my little baby. My Hayden, and who she is today, on the eve of her first birthday.

Hayden:

Hayden loves books - books, magazines, newspapers, loose papers, anything with writing and pictures, and she studies all the details. She has her favorite pages in "Mother Goose" - Baa, Baa Black Sheep, and The Crooked Little Man. She loves to sit in her Grandma's lap and let her read to her, or to sit in Papa's lap as he points out the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth on the babies in her picture books.

Hayden loves my phone. Her daddy's phone. Any phone. Remote controls, the mouse for the computer... anything electronic. She turns them over and studies every detail, looking at the screws and screens, and delighting in pushing the buttons.

She loves "Tickle Bee", giving "5", blowing kisses, giving us kisses (usually open-mouthed slobber-kisses, followed by the hysterical cackles of an amused babe), clapping, and listening to music of any kind.

Hayden enjoys eating dried fruits, Cheerios, puffs, and baby Goldfish crackers. She likes french fries, and bits of chicken. Bananas, and pears are an occasional treat, and she loves drinking from a straw. Don't try to give her a sippy cup, though - she has no patience for those. She wants whatever Mommy's drinking, and makes the cutest little "aaahhhhh!" whenever she takes a sip.

Hayden is learning to walk, and continues to surprise me when I see her toddle by. She is losing the "crab-crawl" and starting to crawl more like most babies. She loves for you to chase her, or to chase you, around the house, and you can hear her squeal if you get close to catching her.

She wears her hair in ponytails most days, and is very patient when her mommy styles it. She's grown to enjoy bathtime, and splashes away in the tub with all her toys. She has fun with puppy dogs, and likes to let them lick her hands. and tries to grab their noses.

She is an even-keeled, laid-back little girl, full of life and smiles and energy, who loves to study the details of the world around her, understands almost anything you tell her, and loves her family, friends and teachers so much.

She's the apple of my eye, my heart outside my heart, my true love, and I am just so grateful to be her mom.