I have a confession to make. I haven't checked my personal email account in nearly a month. I haven't been on Facebook in nearly 2 months. I refuse to Twitter, and you're lucky I'm even writing this. I am proud to note, however, I have checked my personal voicemail twice in the last week. TWICE. That has to be a record!
I know, shameful. But, seriously, am I the only one that gets completely, utterly, overwhelmingly overwhelmed by all this freaking technology?!?! Or just by life in general? There are some days, it's a comfort, a refuge, a place to turn to when I'm bored or curious or excited to share, and there are days it is absolutely a cement block around my feet, dragging me to the ocean floor.
The problem is with all this technology, being updated ALL. THE. TIME. is that it's like a high-speed train. It leaves the station with a quick jolt, a lurch, and then steadily picks up speed until you're flying off to who knows where so fast you can only make out a greenish blur of vegatation out the window. Once you start, there is no easy stopping point. There isn't a pause button, an emergency pull handle by your increasingly uncomfortable, slightly cramped seat on this bullet train. There's no way to call a time out without being dumped out of the cargo car uncerimoniously to be quickly forgotten by the rest of the passengers, who are all nose-down in their blackberries and ipones anyway, and barely missed you as you excused yourself to slide by them to the bar car.
I've probably carried this metaphor on for too long, but my point is, I get tired. I get overwhelmed, and I just want all that crap to go away from time to time. Why can't we get back to the days of the pony express? I could handle things much better if they came at me 1-2 letters at a time, instead of the 50-100 I get in my inbox everyday. That doesn't include the messages on my phoneSSSS, on my personal inbox, in my mailbox, and on my facebook page.
Those of you who know me, know I love to talk and communicate as much as the next person, but in the words of an old friend of mine, "class, can we all just put our heads down for a bit?"
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
A Difference of Opinion
Last night, late (after 10pm, what a fuddy-duddy am I?), I had gotten Hayden's diaper changed, got her pj's on her, and had her new BFF - her bunny bear - in hand. We settled into my bed and I began nursing her to sleep. As her little fingers caressed bunny bear's ears and her body relaxed, I watched her eyes droop lower and lower. Finally, she took a big sigh, and rolled away from me. The signal she was giving up the fight and watching the nightly sugarplum dance behind her heavy lids.
Last night however, instead of staying on her side, she flipped all the way over to her tummy and buried her face into the comforter, then flipped her head to the side with a contented sigh, and eyes closed, smacked her lips in contentment. I held still, waiting until a deep sleep took over before I moved her to her crib for the night. Before I could draw another breath, though, she suddenly popped straight up on her knees, eyes bright and alert, looked at me with a devilish grin and announced "BAWK!"
I tried to reason with her. "Hayden, it's bedtime now. Time to go to sleep. Mommy's very tired, and we all need to lay down and close our..."
"BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! Heeeeeeeeee!"
"Hayden, come on now. Why don't you lay down and let Mommy rub your back until you fall asleep?"
"Ha ah ah eeeee eeehhhaa. Pfffffffffffttttttttthhhhhhh", she answered, blowing happy raspberries at me as I tried to wrangle her back to the bed. She was intent on climbing the headboard, and in no mood to lay down.
She was too cute for me to be frustrated, despite how exceedingly tired I was, and I had to hide a smile as she fluttered her lips at me, spit bubbles flying.
Now that we have her sleeping most of the nights (Hallelujah for that!), I suppose our next challenge will be getting her to sleep!
Last night however, instead of staying on her side, she flipped all the way over to her tummy and buried her face into the comforter, then flipped her head to the side with a contented sigh, and eyes closed, smacked her lips in contentment. I held still, waiting until a deep sleep took over before I moved her to her crib for the night. Before I could draw another breath, though, she suddenly popped straight up on her knees, eyes bright and alert, looked at me with a devilish grin and announced "BAWK!"
I tried to reason with her. "Hayden, it's bedtime now. Time to go to sleep. Mommy's very tired, and we all need to lay down and close our..."
"BAWK! BAWK! BAWK! Heeeeeeeeee!"
"Hayden, come on now. Why don't you lay down and let Mommy rub your back until you fall asleep?"
"Ha ah ah eeeee eeehhhaa. Pfffffffffffttttttttthhhhhhh", she answered, blowing happy raspberries at me as I tried to wrangle her back to the bed. She was intent on climbing the headboard, and in no mood to lay down.
She was too cute for me to be frustrated, despite how exceedingly tired I was, and I had to hide a smile as she fluttered her lips at me, spit bubbles flying.
Now that we have her sleeping most of the nights (Hallelujah for that!), I suppose our next challenge will be getting her to sleep!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Sing Off!
I have mentioned my dad's barbershop quartet group, Martha's Finest, before, but they're worth mentioning again. This is one of the hottest groups around, folks, and if you don't believe this bragging daughter, just let me tell you this - NBC called them and wants them to come audition for their new show, The Sing Off! It's a new show where a cappela groups compete for a Sony record deal, and I think the fact they were called and asked to audition is note-worthy in and of itself, regardless of how far they get (although they should take it all they way to the top, if you ask me!)
The auditions are in Atlanta tomorrow, so wish them luck and say a little prayer that all goes well for this AMAZING quartet! I know they'll rock their socks off!
The auditions are in Atlanta tomorrow, so wish them luck and say a little prayer that all goes well for this AMAZING quartet! I know they'll rock their socks off!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!
The child slept for 6 1/2 hours straight last night. SIX AND A HALF HOURS! Can you hear the angel choruses in the background? I never thought I'd see the day again where I could write that!
After 3 months of not sleeping an average of more than 1 hour at a time during the night, Hayden finally seems to be putting down the picket sign and calling off the strike. Thank heavens for small favors. I can quit mumbling and drooling and come out of the corner. Okay, well I'll at least come out of the corner.
For months we've searched for the reason and solution to her (and subsequently our) sleepless nights. This is a baby who slept 6 hours by the time she was a month old, and for months was down to 1-2 wake ups a night. I could handle a one time feeding. 7-8 feedings was a whole other story. I've been on the verge of a breakdown, and she's been a frantic mess every night as I try to soothe her back to sleep.
At first, we thought it was a cold she'd gotten. And it very well may have been. Then maybe it was the sinus infection. Or the ear infection. Or eye infection. Or the next cold. Or she was hitting a growth spurt and was hungry. Or she wanted comforting. Or the sinus infection. Or the strep throat... It's gone on and on with endless issues that may have been causing her fretfulness.
We enlisted help from doctors, advice from friends and family, researched tirelessly (although, it was really more like tired-ly, because, well, we weren't sleeping much) online and in books for answers. We tried everything - sleeping with her next to our bed, in our bed, in her room, on me, on Chris, upside down hanging from her toes, tied to the ceiling fan, you name it (well, most of those, anyway. I was getting pretty willing to try the last two if she didn't start sleeping soon!).
The only thing I was not willing to try was to let her 'cry it out'. I know many people out there are proponents of that, and I say, to each their own. For me and my daughter, that wasn't an option. Primarily for two reasons. One, crying is her only way right now to communicate her needs with me. If I ignore her and teach her that I won't come when she cries, I'm breaking her trust in me to be there and care for her. When she reaches an age that she can speak and we can talk, crying it out may be an option. Secondly, I know my daughter, and I know there was a reason she was waking up at night. Something was bothering her. She didn't want to be awake any more than I did. She was hurting and uncomfortable. I just hadn't been able to figure out why, and I wasn't going to just ignore her pained cries because I wanted to sleep.
So, last week when I took her to the doctor and found out she had strep throat, I mentioned again that she wasn't sleeping more than an hour or so at a time. I told the doctor that we really needed help, because I was a mama on the edge. The doctor nonchalantly asked me how long the 'not sleeping' had been going on, and I told her it was at least three months. She spun around and looked at me incredulously. Finally, I had her attention. This wasn't a phase, it wasn't a cold, it wasn't for comfort. Something was wrong. We began discussing the waking in detail. Discussing Hayden's behaviour, her cries, how we have been able to get her back to sleep, what hasn't been working, everything. And at the end of that discussion, Dr. V told me that she thought it sounded like Hayden's reflux was flaring up again.
My first thought was, "great! At least that's something we can fix." My second thought was along the lines of, "are you freaking kidding me? I've been awake for three months straight because my daughter has heartburn and no one would listen to me about the not sleeping mess?!?!?" So, with some adjustments to her reflux medicine and the addition of a new one, we were on our way with a potential solution.
Now, nearly a week into the change, we've been seeing very positive results. Hayden has sleep an average of 4 hours at a stretch, and has been fussy when she wakes probably from a combination of the reflux and strep still. Once we've had a few weeks for her medicine to fully take effect, we'll know better, but I feel so much better knowing she's not hurting, and I look forward to nighttime so much more than I have in ages. I don't have that dread in the pit of my stomach as the clock inches toward bedtime. I look at my pillow, my lovely fluffy pillow and daydream about laying my head on it and getting to stay there long enough to do some serious drooling. I tell you, my pillow case has stayed too damn clean the last few months. Not enough chances for true dead-to-the-world, fly-catching mouth, shaking-the-rafters-snoring kind of sleep lately. Well, my dear pillow, get ready - we've got some lost time to make up for!
PS - after seeing the results of the medicine, I'm doubly happy I trusted my instincts and didn't let her cry it out. Can you imagine if your mouth was duct-taped so you couldn't speak, and you woke up in the middle of the night in a bed you couldn't get out of, and you were hurting, and the only person that could help you or comfort you or alleviate your pain ignored you so they could sleep? That's all that keeps running through my mind when I think about staying in bed and letting her scream. I wouldn't want someone to do it to me, and I just can't bring myself to do it to her.
Again, though, to each their own. This is simply my choice for my family.
After 3 months of not sleeping an average of more than 1 hour at a time during the night, Hayden finally seems to be putting down the picket sign and calling off the strike. Thank heavens for small favors. I can quit mumbling and drooling and come out of the corner. Okay, well I'll at least come out of the corner.
For months we've searched for the reason and solution to her (and subsequently our) sleepless nights. This is a baby who slept 6 hours by the time she was a month old, and for months was down to 1-2 wake ups a night. I could handle a one time feeding. 7-8 feedings was a whole other story. I've been on the verge of a breakdown, and she's been a frantic mess every night as I try to soothe her back to sleep.
At first, we thought it was a cold she'd gotten. And it very well may have been. Then maybe it was the sinus infection. Or the ear infection. Or eye infection. Or the next cold. Or she was hitting a growth spurt and was hungry. Or she wanted comforting. Or the sinus infection. Or the strep throat... It's gone on and on with endless issues that may have been causing her fretfulness.
We enlisted help from doctors, advice from friends and family, researched tirelessly (although, it was really more like tired-ly, because, well, we weren't sleeping much) online and in books for answers. We tried everything - sleeping with her next to our bed, in our bed, in her room, on me, on Chris, upside down hanging from her toes, tied to the ceiling fan, you name it (well, most of those, anyway. I was getting pretty willing to try the last two if she didn't start sleeping soon!).
The only thing I was not willing to try was to let her 'cry it out'. I know many people out there are proponents of that, and I say, to each their own. For me and my daughter, that wasn't an option. Primarily for two reasons. One, crying is her only way right now to communicate her needs with me. If I ignore her and teach her that I won't come when she cries, I'm breaking her trust in me to be there and care for her. When she reaches an age that she can speak and we can talk, crying it out may be an option. Secondly, I know my daughter, and I know there was a reason she was waking up at night. Something was bothering her. She didn't want to be awake any more than I did. She was hurting and uncomfortable. I just hadn't been able to figure out why, and I wasn't going to just ignore her pained cries because I wanted to sleep.
So, last week when I took her to the doctor and found out she had strep throat, I mentioned again that she wasn't sleeping more than an hour or so at a time. I told the doctor that we really needed help, because I was a mama on the edge. The doctor nonchalantly asked me how long the 'not sleeping' had been going on, and I told her it was at least three months. She spun around and looked at me incredulously. Finally, I had her attention. This wasn't a phase, it wasn't a cold, it wasn't for comfort. Something was wrong. We began discussing the waking in detail. Discussing Hayden's behaviour, her cries, how we have been able to get her back to sleep, what hasn't been working, everything. And at the end of that discussion, Dr. V told me that she thought it sounded like Hayden's reflux was flaring up again.
My first thought was, "great! At least that's something we can fix." My second thought was along the lines of, "are you freaking kidding me? I've been awake for three months straight because my daughter has heartburn and no one would listen to me about the not sleeping mess?!?!?" So, with some adjustments to her reflux medicine and the addition of a new one, we were on our way with a potential solution.
Now, nearly a week into the change, we've been seeing very positive results. Hayden has sleep an average of 4 hours at a stretch, and has been fussy when she wakes probably from a combination of the reflux and strep still. Once we've had a few weeks for her medicine to fully take effect, we'll know better, but I feel so much better knowing she's not hurting, and I look forward to nighttime so much more than I have in ages. I don't have that dread in the pit of my stomach as the clock inches toward bedtime. I look at my pillow, my lovely fluffy pillow and daydream about laying my head on it and getting to stay there long enough to do some serious drooling. I tell you, my pillow case has stayed too damn clean the last few months. Not enough chances for true dead-to-the-world, fly-catching mouth, shaking-the-rafters-snoring kind of sleep lately. Well, my dear pillow, get ready - we've got some lost time to make up for!
PS - after seeing the results of the medicine, I'm doubly happy I trusted my instincts and didn't let her cry it out. Can you imagine if your mouth was duct-taped so you couldn't speak, and you woke up in the middle of the night in a bed you couldn't get out of, and you were hurting, and the only person that could help you or comfort you or alleviate your pain ignored you so they could sleep? That's all that keeps running through my mind when I think about staying in bed and letting her scream. I wouldn't want someone to do it to me, and I just can't bring myself to do it to her.
Again, though, to each their own. This is simply my choice for my family.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Cold Feet
First wedding cake I've made in over a year. 14 layers baked, 6 more to go. Just starting the icing for it all. Know how much icing 14 layers of wedding cake takes? Try THIRTY cups of icing. That's a lot of butter. It's a lot of everything, really. I only have to do 14 layers worth of icing because 6 layers are German Chocolate. Haven't even started that topping yet.
Thankfully, Mom came over to help me today, and between us we're rocking and rolling this thing out.
Keep your fingers crossed and pray I make it to the ceremony without incident!
I'll share pictures next week...
Thankfully, Mom came over to help me today, and between us we're rocking and rolling this thing out.
Keep your fingers crossed and pray I make it to the ceremony without incident!
I'll share pictures next week...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Pretty much sums up my day
I went out tonight to walk the dogs, and as I was standing there, urging them to do their business, I noticed a patch of clover near my feet and was transported back to my childhood, when mom woul dstop us at any patch of clover we saw so we could search out an elusive four-leafed specimen, "for luck". I momentarily forgot the dogs and their 'business', forgot all the worries and stresses of work and of raising a small child, and just went to my own youth for a moment and, leashes in hand, began poking through the tiny plants in search of a shamrock worthy of permanent safekeeping in a favorite book, pressed between two pieces of waxed paper.
Suddenly, there it was! A big, beautiful four-leafed clover in pristine condition. As I stooped to pluck it from its stalk, I felt something tickle my foot. My exposed, flip-flop clad foot. Looking behind me to the ped in question, I was horrified to immediately recognize the greenish object snaking its way across my toes. My dear old Stormy, who is 16 1/2 years old, nearly blind and almost fully deaf, had found the perfect place to take care of things, so to speak, and unfortunately my foot got in the way of those plans.
Of course, maybe this was just his subtle way of letting me know that he's noticed I don't spend as much time with him and the boys these days, and they're a little sick of it. Either way, it made for a nauseating and uncomfortable trip back to the house.
Ah, ain't life grand?
Suddenly, there it was! A big, beautiful four-leafed clover in pristine condition. As I stooped to pluck it from its stalk, I felt something tickle my foot. My exposed, flip-flop clad foot. Looking behind me to the ped in question, I was horrified to immediately recognize the greenish object snaking its way across my toes. My dear old Stormy, who is 16 1/2 years old, nearly blind and almost fully deaf, had found the perfect place to take care of things, so to speak, and unfortunately my foot got in the way of those plans.
Of course, maybe this was just his subtle way of letting me know that he's noticed I don't spend as much time with him and the boys these days, and they're a little sick of it. Either way, it made for a nauseating and uncomfortable trip back to the house.
Ah, ain't life grand?
In which my heart breaks into a gazillion million pieces...
...for the first of what I am sure will be many times.
As I mentioned earlier this week, Hayden's been sick. So I stayed out of work with her Tuesday to take care of all the errands, precriptions, baby wrangling and subsequent baby cuddling required to make a wee one feel better. We spent the entire day together - playing, crying, nursing, napping, listening to (me) and swatting at (her) doctors and nurses.
So when Hayden's daddy came home, she was of course happy to see him and went right to him, snuggling into his arms and clapping his shoulder and squealing with delight. They talked and cuddled for a few minutes, then he started to hand her back to me so he could go get something, and that's when it happened. She reached out and grabbed my heart right out of my chest, squeezed it in her tiny fist, then flung it to the ground like a toy she was bored of, shattering it into itty bitty pieces.
As I reached for her, she took that cute, chubby little arm, reached out and with her sweet, angelic little fingers, pried my hand off her waist and flung it off like an offending bit of filth that dared to touch her darling little outfit. And then she spun around and clung to her daddy's neck and refused to look at me.
After all this time of being a mama's girl, I can feel the tide a changing. And it's a bitter cold wind blowing those waves.
Honestly, part of me is overjoyed to see her bonding so well with her daddy. I'm glad that he's a comfort to her, and it thrills me to see her face light up when he comes home each day. I know that makes things easier on him when I'm not around, and for that I'm grateful. It still doesn't mean that her choosing him over me didn't cut like a knife. And even though moments later she was ready to come to mama, the hurt of that rejection still stings. And I know it's just the first of many. I know there will come a time when she doesn't want to kiss me goodbye in the mornings. A time when she'll want me to let her out around the corner so her friends don't see her mom drove her. A time when she'll just want some money and to be let out at the door of the mall because it's too 'uncool' to be seen with me. And I know all of these things are my just desserts, because I inflicted the same pain on my mom, on both my parents, I know.
I just wasn't prepared for that inevitable pulling away to start so soon!
As I mentioned earlier this week, Hayden's been sick. So I stayed out of work with her Tuesday to take care of all the errands, precriptions, baby wrangling and subsequent baby cuddling required to make a wee one feel better. We spent the entire day together - playing, crying, nursing, napping, listening to (me) and swatting at (her) doctors and nurses.
So when Hayden's daddy came home, she was of course happy to see him and went right to him, snuggling into his arms and clapping his shoulder and squealing with delight. They talked and cuddled for a few minutes, then he started to hand her back to me so he could go get something, and that's when it happened. She reached out and grabbed my heart right out of my chest, squeezed it in her tiny fist, then flung it to the ground like a toy she was bored of, shattering it into itty bitty pieces.
As I reached for her, she took that cute, chubby little arm, reached out and with her sweet, angelic little fingers, pried my hand off her waist and flung it off like an offending bit of filth that dared to touch her darling little outfit. And then she spun around and clung to her daddy's neck and refused to look at me.
After all this time of being a mama's girl, I can feel the tide a changing. And it's a bitter cold wind blowing those waves.
Honestly, part of me is overjoyed to see her bonding so well with her daddy. I'm glad that he's a comfort to her, and it thrills me to see her face light up when he comes home each day. I know that makes things easier on him when I'm not around, and for that I'm grateful. It still doesn't mean that her choosing him over me didn't cut like a knife. And even though moments later she was ready to come to mama, the hurt of that rejection still stings. And I know it's just the first of many. I know there will come a time when she doesn't want to kiss me goodbye in the mornings. A time when she'll want me to let her out around the corner so her friends don't see her mom drove her. A time when she'll just want some money and to be let out at the door of the mall because it's too 'uncool' to be seen with me. And I know all of these things are my just desserts, because I inflicted the same pain on my mom, on both my parents, I know.
I just wasn't prepared for that inevitable pulling away to start so soon!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Ms. Morissette, I've got your irony right here
Last night Hayden slept 5 hours straight. Her lack of sleeping - consecutively- any amount of time whatsoever is a whole other story entirely that I will share with you one day soon, but if you've been wondering who that twitching, mumbling, scratching-at-sores-that-aren't-there woman is huddled in the corner, that's me. I have recently fallen completely off the edge of the crazy abyss from lack of sleep.
Anyway, back to last night. She slept. FIVE. WHOLE. HOURS. Without waking up, screaming, crying, throwing binkys and teddies from her crib. The child sawed some serious zzzz's. Me, I should have woken up refreshed and slightly befuddled to be getting my first wake up call at 3am. I should have danced to her room to sweep her chubby little body from her crib and smother her with kisses for the blessing of FIVE. WHOLE. HOURS. of sleep.
Instead, enter irony with a capital I. Her daddy had to go fetch her, because me? I had just begun to doze off. I, brainiac that I am, let my prescription run out yesterday, and since you know I was already at the imaginary-sore-scratching stage, there was no sleep for me. None. I woke up more last night with her sleeping than I have the entire last weekend of her waking every hour. I was up every ten minutes, and my mind was teasing me. Letting me think I was dropping...off...into...blissfu... WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! YOU HAVE TO CHECK THE LOCKS! DID YOU GET HAYDEN'S TEDDY AWAY FROM HER FACE? MAYBE SHE'S NOT ASLEEP, MAYBE SHE'S SMOTHERED BY THE DAMN BEAR THE BOOK (OH GOD, the BOOK!) SAID YOU SHOULD USE TO SETTLE HER TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF YOU. ARE ALL THE LIGHTS OFF? ARE YOU SURE YOU SHUT THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR? YES, I KNOW THERE'S AN ALARM THAT WILL SOUND IF YOU DIDN'T, BUT WHAT IF THE ALARM IS BROKEN AND IT DOESN'T GO OFF AND YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND EVERYTHING ROTS??? WHAT THEN, HUH? EVERYTHING WILL ROT. NOTHING WILL BE GOOD AGAIN. EVER.
This is the point in time I start cursing myself for forgetting to get my prescription refilled. What prescription, you ask? The one that shuts her up. No, not Hayden "her". The one doing all the yelling in my head, "her". The one that decides 11:53 pm is a good time to ask me HEY, DID YOU REMEMBER TO TELL LAUREN THE COLOR OF THE SALES CABINET FOR THE NACS SHOW? DID YOU REMEMBER TO ORDER THE SALES CABINET AT ALL? WHAT ABOUT PEG HOOKS? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED PEG HOOKS TO HER. ARE YOU USING THE OLD KIND OR NEW KIND? WHAT LENGTH? HOW MANY? OH! AND WHAT ABOUT...
Seriously. If anyone knows a different way to shut her up, be my guest. These days, thanks to all the wonky hormones and the amazing experience of becoming a mom (honestly, I mean that. It's freaking amazing and totally worth the side of crazy that I did not order), the only way I can tackle her chatty ass to the ground and duct tape her gigantic mouth shut so I can just go to sleep already, for goodness' sake!! is to use my new little pills that knock her unconscious for a few hours, which coincidentally let's me sleep too. Or work, or function like a normal human being. Cuts down on the sore-scratching a bit, anyway, although I swear I'm taking that back up if Hayden doesn't go off her sleep-strike soon.
Anyway, back to last night. She slept. FIVE. WHOLE. HOURS. Without waking up, screaming, crying, throwing binkys and teddies from her crib. The child sawed some serious zzzz's. Me, I should have woken up refreshed and slightly befuddled to be getting my first wake up call at 3am. I should have danced to her room to sweep her chubby little body from her crib and smother her with kisses for the blessing of FIVE. WHOLE. HOURS. of sleep.
Instead, enter irony with a capital I. Her daddy had to go fetch her, because me? I had just begun to doze off. I, brainiac that I am, let my prescription run out yesterday, and since you know I was already at the imaginary-sore-scratching stage, there was no sleep for me. None. I woke up more last night with her sleeping than I have the entire last weekend of her waking every hour. I was up every ten minutes, and my mind was teasing me. Letting me think I was dropping...off...into...blissfu... WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! YOU HAVE TO CHECK THE LOCKS! DID YOU GET HAYDEN'S TEDDY AWAY FROM HER FACE? MAYBE SHE'S NOT ASLEEP, MAYBE SHE'S SMOTHERED BY THE DAMN BEAR THE BOOK (OH GOD, the BOOK!) SAID YOU SHOULD USE TO SETTLE HER TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF YOU. ARE ALL THE LIGHTS OFF? ARE YOU SURE YOU SHUT THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR? YES, I KNOW THERE'S AN ALARM THAT WILL SOUND IF YOU DIDN'T, BUT WHAT IF THE ALARM IS BROKEN AND IT DOESN'T GO OFF AND YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AND EVERYTHING ROTS??? WHAT THEN, HUH? EVERYTHING WILL ROT. NOTHING WILL BE GOOD AGAIN. EVER.
This is the point in time I start cursing myself for forgetting to get my prescription refilled. What prescription, you ask? The one that shuts her up. No, not Hayden "her". The one doing all the yelling in my head, "her". The one that decides 11:53 pm is a good time to ask me HEY, DID YOU REMEMBER TO TELL LAUREN THE COLOR OF THE SALES CABINET FOR THE NACS SHOW? DID YOU REMEMBER TO ORDER THE SALES CABINET AT ALL? WHAT ABOUT PEG HOOKS? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED PEG HOOKS TO HER. ARE YOU USING THE OLD KIND OR NEW KIND? WHAT LENGTH? HOW MANY? OH! AND WHAT ABOUT...
Seriously. If anyone knows a different way to shut her up, be my guest. These days, thanks to all the wonky hormones and the amazing experience of becoming a mom (honestly, I mean that. It's freaking amazing and totally worth the side of crazy that I did not order), the only way I can tackle her chatty ass to the ground and duct tape her gigantic mouth shut so I can just go to sleep already, for goodness' sake!! is to use my new little pills that knock her unconscious for a few hours, which coincidentally let's me sleep too. Or work, or function like a normal human being. Cuts down on the sore-scratching a bit, anyway, although I swear I'm taking that back up if Hayden doesn't go off her sleep-strike soon.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sick Day
Baby girl has her first case of strep. At least that explains the last few feverish nights, which didn't have me overly worried until we hit 103.8. That was a new record for her, and not in a good way. After a marathon day of a doctor's office visit, a hospital visit for a 'precautionary' (is that a word?) chest x-ray, trips to the pharmacy to fill and refill prescriptions, and home to care for a very clingy sick babe, I'm pooped. Literally, in fact.
Today I have been peed on, pooped on, snot on, slobbered on, smeared with soggy cheerios, and covered with pureed apples and cherries as well as dribbled with amoxacillin. Hayden's clothes have had similar treatment, and between the two of us, we're quite a colorful mess.
I have spent the last 6 hours trying to balance my baby on one hip and my laptop on the opposite knee. Hayden's been amused with any and all kitchen utensils that I didn't think could cut her, or that she could swallow or otherwise injure herself with. 
My kitchen, which is supposed to be the setting of a wedding cake creation this week, looks like a very small but virulent bomb hit it. There are dirty dishes scattered across the counters, pots, pans, plastic bowls and all manner of spoons and spatulas trailed across the floors and cheerios in various stages of digestion in every nook and cranny. I've worked all evening, and barely managed to catch up on email and get one video edited and posted. I have no idea how stay at home moms accomplish anything other than surviving the day.
My kitchen, which is supposed to be the setting of a wedding cake creation this week, looks like a very small but virulent bomb hit it. There are dirty dishes scattered across the counters, pots, pans, plastic bowls and all manner of spoons and spatulas trailed across the floors and cheerios in various stages of digestion in every nook and cranny. I've worked all evening, and barely managed to catch up on email and get one video edited and posted. I have no idea how stay at home moms accomplish anything other than surviving the day. On a happy note or two, Hayden figured out how to hold her sippy cup on her own today, and also how to override the 'spill-proofness' (again, not sure that's a real word) of the device and bang it hard enough (upside down, of course) to shower everything in a 3 foot radius with grape juice. 
Serves me right for serving her grape juice, I'm sure, which probably ranks right up there with crack on the 'list of things never to give your child, lest they become addicts'. Yes, I gave the kid juice. It was a bribe to get her to not wail her little lungs out at the doctor's office today, since she's finally figured out that those people are going to torture her and begins her anxious wailing the moment she sets eyes on them.
Serves me right for serving her grape juice, I'm sure, which probably ranks right up there with crack on the 'list of things never to give your child, lest they become addicts'. Yes, I gave the kid juice. It was a bribe to get her to not wail her little lungs out at the doctor's office today, since she's finally figured out that those people are going to torture her and begins her anxious wailing the moment she sets eyes on them. Seriously, though, if you read this and have an issue with juice, you probably should pick another blog. I'm a pro-whatever-the-living-hell-works mom, which means there's not much I won't do or try to soothe my kid when she's having a meltdown, or to get her to sleep, or to make it through a public event with as little negative attention as possible. Not that I think anyone that reads this blog has an issue with juice. Mostly because I'm pretty sure there are like 3 of you out there, and I know better. Just pre-empting the hate mail strikes when I become rich and famous. That sound you hear? Me. Laughing my head off at the mere possibility.
I need to run. My second-string QB needs a pit stop (yes, I mixed the metaphor. Your point?), which means I need to get back to my balancing act. Have a lovely evening.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Mmmmm....what's that I smell?
I'm preparing for a wedding cake I'm doing next weekend. The bride, a dear friend and Hayden's namesake, has chosen some lovely fruity flavors to accent her fall wedding theme. The groom's cake is a decadent german chocolate confection, and her cakes are going to be lemon, peach and mango.
For some reason though, I can't shake the sensation that the mango puree I've made smells and looks suspiciously like the contents of some of Hayden's recent diapers. I think I know which flavor I won't be eating next weekend. eeew. Sorry, Haydne W.... I'm sure it will be delish! Probably just more so for someone without a 9 month old!
For some reason though, I can't shake the sensation that the mango puree I've made smells and looks suspiciously like the contents of some of Hayden's recent diapers. I think I know which flavor I won't be eating next weekend. eeew. Sorry, Haydne W.... I'm sure it will be delish! Probably just more so for someone without a 9 month old!
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