Merry Christmas, One and All

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We certainly did - lots of family time, food and fun. After hosting 3 holiday meals, me and my house are in some serious need of recovery! It was well worth it, though. Got to see lots of family, play with Hayden, eat some delicious holiday treats - like Toffee Brittle, Sweet Potato Crunch, Honeybaked Ham, and Fried Ravioli (my new favorite!), and sleep in a day or two.

Hayden gave me the best gift of all - she slept 11 hours straight the night before Christmas Eve, which was a record for her, and following our unsuccessful milk-tolerance test last week, the longest she'd slept for awhile!

We gave her a baby baby grand piano, which I have to say I think she loves more than any of her other gifts (paper, boxes and ribbons aside). She continually goes over to it and bangs out a tune, then swings around to ensure we're watching, and coaches us on how to clap for her. What a ham! Not to be upstaged, if her daddy sits down at his piano to play, she toddles right over and begins playing hers as well. I have some videos that I'll get posted soon, that I'm sure will crack you up.

As for her other gifts, don't worry - they're getting lots of use, too. Her Daddy, Poppie, and others are keeping themselves entertained with those. It's hysterical to see grown men rolling on the floor playing with little girl's toys. Nothing like it, I tell ya.

We even managed to squeeze in a few rounds of Yahtzee with the Massey clan on Christmas day. As always, it proved to be a competitive, raucous time, with customized fist pumps for each unique score, and plenty of cheers, cheats and cat-calls across the table. I love playing games with the family, and can't wait until Hayden is old enough to join the fray.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are ready for the new year! Best wishes, one and all!

Look who's talking

Hayden has been working on expanding her vocabulary over the last few months, and in classic Hayden style, she has done it on her timeline, and when it suits her. She learned several new words early on, used them sufficiently to prove she could say them, then ceased using them at all. Same tact she took learning to wave "bye-bye", same as when she started rolling over. Once she knows she can do it, she doesn't feel the need to practice it anymore or prove to the world that she can do it. And, added benefit: it frustrates Mama and Daddy when they try to show her off, and makes them look dumb. An effect I'm sure she'll work towards for years to come.

Based on my own feelings toward math homework growing up (I learned how to do it, I practiced a few times so I was comfortable doing it, and now you want me to do it how many more times?!?? pppptttttthhhh on that!), I can already see the crying, screaming event Hayden's own homework could well turn into. Maybe she'll take after Chris on that one. Haydie, all I'm saying is that it's hard to become the engineer that you... er...your daddy wants you to if you aren't into math. Chris, good luck with that one. I've done my part.

Anyway, long way back from that tangent, but my point is that Hayden has recently started expanding her vocabulary at a pretty speedy pace (for someone limited to a couple words, anything seems fast). In the last week and a half she's added several new ones, some of them surprising to even us.

She has long been able to say "Hi" (although that one's still on her banned list, for some reason), she can say "Bye-bye" and does often. In fact, the other night at my in-laws they had some friends visiting, and when Marilyn said that they should probably think about going home, Hayden perked up, looked right at her and popped out "BYE!" Cracked us all up. Over the remainder of the visit, anytime Marilyn spoke to her, or Hayden noticed her, she'd just shout "BYE!" (So, speaking her mind - check! One skill we won't need to work on much, I see.)

She can say "Da-da", and does all the time. Still tears my heart into a million pieces hearing that sweet voice call his name, and seeing him respond. I LOVE seeing them together - too sweet for words.

She started saying Ma-Ma last week more often, and to me occasionally. In fact, I was making dinner, and she came toddling up calling "da-da-da-da-da" reaching for the cracker I had in my hand. I jokingly told her that if she wanted something from me, she'd better call me "Ma-ma. MA-MA." Big difference in me and "da-da". Next thing I know she's reaching for the cracker calling "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!" I gave her all the crackers. What else could I do?

She also started saying "Pa-pa" and "Poppie" last week, and surprisingly, "Abbie" - her cousin who she's only met twice up to now, and knows mostly from pictures. If you tell her to show you Abbie, though, she'll toddle right over to her picture and point her out. Of course, seeing the real live Abbie at dinner last night, she refused to display any of those skills.

Another one she's learned is "uh-oh" This is an oldie but goodie that she's recently resurrected around the same time she discovered the delight in THROWING things to the ground. Sometimes when she's done with them. Sometimes just to hear them crash. Sometimes to show you that she's mad at you/the object/life. Sometimes just on accident. So now, around the house, I hear *crash!* "uh-ah, uh-ah, aahhhhh". Of course, she's insistent that you pick it up! right now! so she can have it back and hurl it back. That's a fun game.

The other night, she even said "Hay-deh" when I was talking to her about her name. Not sure if we'll count that one as official or not.

Speaking of official, one last aside - the docs kept telling me she was teething, which I assumed because of the low fever, irritability, drool, etc, but we had NO teeth coming in. I kept waiting on her next bicuspid, and it wasn't showing. It's been months since we've seen a new one! The other day, I decided to feel (this is a risky proposition with this child - she has enough front teeth to chomp a finger off, which she's apt to do if you stick it in there. Not a fan of the tooth check, this one) to see if that tooth was getting any closer. Instead, I felt a tooth behind that one - a Molar! I hadn't even considered molars yet. After a complete, and completely miserable, check of her mouth, I discovered she had THREE molars all partially in! Holy cow! She just went from 5 teeth to 8 teeth, and I missed those coming in! Note to her doctor: sorry for calling you a crazy, out-of-touch lunatic behind your back after we left. YOU WERE RIGHT. (just kidding - I love Dr. V and wouldn't call her that. I would however seriously doubt that one of us had any idea what teething symptoms looked like. Not naming names, just saying).


Merry Christmas to you and yours! Have a wonderful holiday, filled with love, family and joy.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday!

Last Saturday, after Hayden's birthday party, we all went to her Poppie's Christmas Concert with the Big Chicken Chorus. He called lil' Miss Hayden up on stage to wish her a Happy Birthday in front of the crowd, and I have to say, she did fairly well for her first performance, short though it was.

Here's a picture of the whole family with Santa at the concert, one short year after we welcomed our little darling into our lives.

Her Poppie brought down the house with his signature solo of "O Holy Night". As usual, brought Gracie and me to tears. I'm sure Hayden will grow up loving to hear her daddy and Poppy sing just as much as I have.

Here's a quick clip of that song.

Dinner Date

Last night, Hayden and I sat on the floor of the kitchen, sharing a banana, some leftover birthday cake and cheerios for dinner. Still in my work clothes, I stretched out in the corner, listening to the radio serenade us with Christmas carols, surveyed the crumbs and dirt that yet again taken over my hardwood floor, watched Hayden boogey and clap between bites, and sighed. We shared messy kisses that left my face sticky with icing and banana, her small fingers smearing rainbow traces of cake down my sweater as she bounced into my lap, and also as she pushed up and away from me, tottering a few steps here or there before returning to our spot. Walking. My baby girl had, overnight, begun walking, and it still surprised me to watch her, hands up by her face (ready to brace for the inevitable tumble), legs akimbo, one jaunty step at a time. My baby girl. Walking. One year old. One. Year. Old. I looked again at the floors. Dirt everywhere, it seemed. Didn't we just vacuum? I surveyed the countertops from my corner vantage point. What I saw was covered in mail, dishes, bottles, and other ephemera. I looked back to Hayden, now happily scooting toward me on her hands and knees, her prize - a Santa doll from her grandparents - clutched in one hand. Too soon, this sweet crawl will be replaced by running and skipping, jumping and tumbling. As she approached, I reached out and wrapped her in my arms, sticky fingers and all, and cuddled her. The house can wait. I had a dinner date just then that couldn't.


Thank God for her. Thank God she slows me down for moments like these.

December 11, 2008

One year ago today, Hayden's due date, I woke up at 2:30 in the morning with the first contraction that got my attention.

That morning, I freaked my boss out by timing contractions during a meeting. Totally ruined his concentration.

I had lunch at Captain D's with my friend Tonya; we had fried pickles as I timed contractions. Later Chris would ask me what the heck those neon green things were... (gross, yes, I know, but one of my lasting memories from that night). It was the last time I had pickles for awhile.

That afternoon, I realized this thing was for real and began cleaning up my desk and packing my stuff. As I trudged out about an hour early, I heard a booming voice from the conference room ordering me back to my cube - they wanted to squeeze every last hour out of me! It was the president, joking he thought, about me sneaking off early. I told him I'd be happy to go back to my desk if he didn't mind helping me with a little project I was working on... I quickly got the green light to head on home!

That evening, packing my stuff between contractions, and using hypnosis during each one, as they became increasingly longer and stronger, I watched my husband turn whiter and whiter as the clock ticked on. He dutifully recorded the time and length of each contraction, lay in bed next to me, sweating as we waited through contractions. I stayed home as long as I dared; I was seriously worried my driver would faint if I waited any longer, and off we headed on the wildest ride I've ever taken (due to my circumstances, not his driving) to go have our baby girl.

I scared the hell out of some security desk clerks with a scene nearly out of a movie - me waddling in demanding them to take me where "I go to have this taken care of" and begging the other one to figure out where my husband needed to park (they of course totally tore up the entrance to the Women's center the week before. SIGNS, people. HUGE, CLEAR SIGNS. You're dealing with people in LABOR. We're not rational at this point. "BABIES - THIS WAY" would be fine. Just something).

I further freaked out the security guard by refusing a wheelchair, and threatening some very bad things if he tried to put me in one, then making him pause with each contraction as I doubled over and went into hypnosis. Scared the hell out of some moms and dads to be as well, I think. Ahhh, good times.

We checked into a room just before midnight, and then the fun really began.

As I look back today, it is impossible for my mind to grasp that it has already been a year. As Chris said last night, at first, after we had her, time stood still. The whole earth halted on its axis for three months, at least, then catapulted us into warp speed, and we haven't slowed down since.

Happy Birthday Eve, my wee miracle. Thank you for forever changing me.

Weekend Vignettes

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Saturday, approx. 5pm, my bathroom

I'm rushing around frantically trying to get dressed, put makeup on (!), and fix my hair. Hayden, meantime, has chosen this of all times for a meltdown. The vast assortment of toys, both parent-approved and Hayden-selected (my hairbrush, deodorant, and a bracelet) is doing nothing to settle her down. In a last ditch effort, I grab a box of tampons from under the counter. Seconds later, a cascade of them shower my bathroom floor. Then, wait... What is that sound?! Silence!!! Playing 52-tampon pickup is a small price to pay for 5 uniterrupted minutes for getting ready when you're already desperately late. Thanks, Playtex.

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Later that evening, at the work Christmas party, just after we've eaten dinner

One of the execs my hubby and I are chatting with subtly and quietly mentions, "Bon, you've got a litte bird in your grill there, I thought I'd let you know." Chris, hearing this, chimes in, "Oh yeah! I meant to say something about that!" Crap, I thought, perfect time to get chicken stuck in my teeth! I turn away and start trying to dislodge the offending fowl and upon realizing what I'm doing, my coworker clarifies, "Oh, no, Bon. I meant you have a bird that got stuck in the grill of your car!" It's then that I remember the small feathered creature that dove in front of our car on the way to the party. I'm not sure what's worse - walking around a party with food stuck in your teeth, or showing up to such an elegant event with a dirty car (full of baby gear, might I add, and who knows what else) adorned with a dead bird. And parking up front by the door. Lovely.

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Sunday Morning, around 8:30am

Chris awakes to hear a small voice calling. For him. "Da.... Da! Dahh Dahhh! Da da da da dah dah da!" Hayden, who has been saying "Da-da" for a week or so now on the rare occasion, wanted to make sure he knew who she was looking at! She wanted her Da-da to come get her out of bed. Despite wanting to roll over and go back to sleep, he got up and got his little buddy.

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Later that afternoon

We sold the oven! YAY! Going, going, GONE! Finite! No More. Done! Then we decided to 'celebrate' by getting the remaining few items out of our storage building and finishing our move. If I haven't mentioned before, Chris and I don't move stuff well together. That's why we built the house, in fact. So we will never have to move again. Our marriage is pretty strong, but another buffet that weighs as much as the one in our living room, and we might not make it. For as similar as we are in values, goals, tastes, etc, that is one area that we are WAY different. If I see that it makes sense to pick something up, turn it on it's side and carry it in the house, Chris sees that we should flip it over, pick it up, start moving it while one of us only has one hand on it, and see if we can't mash the other hand a few times before we set it down. See? We just look at stuff differently. It's not that one of us is right (me) and the other is wrong (him), it's just that we have our own approaches (me, careful planning and assessment. Him, run headlong at it with our eyes closed) to things like this. And that's okay, so long as we don't have to work together much. Happily, we seem to have worked out a little system that helps us both get through these situations without too many hurt feelings or fingers. It involves a good amount of name calling, cursing, obscene gesturing, and a few hugs and kisses (and hair-pulling and arm-pinching). Hey, it works for us. :)

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Later that night

Hayden is sitting on her Grandma's lap, and they are looking through the weekly circulars from the local drugstore that have become Hayden's favorite 'books.' Grandma points out the different pictures to Hayden, "See the little boy on the swing? He's having fun!" "See the little cat, it's giving that doggie a kiss, isn't it?" As she read that last one, Hayden looked up at her and becan blowing kisses. It still amazes me that at less than a year old her comprehension is so well-honed that she understood what Grandma was saying to her! Genius baby, I tell ya!

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Counting down...

My thoughts have been swirling all week about the fact that my daughter, my baby, is about to turn a year old. I almost can't bear the thought! I find myself clutching her to me, especially during those middle of the night wakings, cuddling her against my chest, burying my nose in the sweet scent of her hair and warm baby neck. Willing the clock to slow down, for just a moment or two, and let me capture the memory of her wee hands clutching to my shoulders as she slumps, trusting, into me. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have this last forever! It breaks my heart, it really does, to have to face the fact that she is -literally - stepping away from babyhood and moving into her childhood. How do I bear this???

I continue to console myself with the excitement and joy I find at each new milestone and accomplishment she reaches, knowing that each stage she leaves behind promises something new and equally endearing for me to love about her next phase.

For now, I want to take a few moments to reflect on my little baby. My Hayden, and who she is today, on the eve of her first birthday.

Hayden:

Hayden loves books - books, magazines, newspapers, loose papers, anything with writing and pictures, and she studies all the details. She has her favorite pages in "Mother Goose" - Baa, Baa Black Sheep, and The Crooked Little Man. She loves to sit in her Grandma's lap and let her read to her, or to sit in Papa's lap as he points out the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth on the babies in her picture books.

Hayden loves my phone. Her daddy's phone. Any phone. Remote controls, the mouse for the computer... anything electronic. She turns them over and studies every detail, looking at the screws and screens, and delighting in pushing the buttons.

She loves "Tickle Bee", giving "5", blowing kisses, giving us kisses (usually open-mouthed slobber-kisses, followed by the hysterical cackles of an amused babe), clapping, and listening to music of any kind.

Hayden enjoys eating dried fruits, Cheerios, puffs, and baby Goldfish crackers. She likes french fries, and bits of chicken. Bananas, and pears are an occasional treat, and she loves drinking from a straw. Don't try to give her a sippy cup, though - she has no patience for those. She wants whatever Mommy's drinking, and makes the cutest little "aaahhhhh!" whenever she takes a sip.

Hayden is learning to walk, and continues to surprise me when I see her toddle by. She is losing the "crab-crawl" and starting to crawl more like most babies. She loves for you to chase her, or to chase you, around the house, and you can hear her squeal if you get close to catching her.

She wears her hair in ponytails most days, and is very patient when her mommy styles it. She's grown to enjoy bathtime, and splashes away in the tub with all her toys. She has fun with puppy dogs, and likes to let them lick her hands. and tries to grab their noses.

She is an even-keeled, laid-back little girl, full of life and smiles and energy, who loves to study the details of the world around her, understands almost anything you tell her, and loves her family, friends and teachers so much.

She's the apple of my eye, my heart outside my heart, my true love, and I am just so grateful to be her mom.

Night Terrors

The other night, Chris was out of town, and it was just Haydie Pie and I at home. After she konked out for the evening, I let her stay in bed with me (with the appropriate amount of pillows and blankets to keep her from rolling off the other side of the bed), because let's face it - I needed the company as much as she did. She's a fun little companion in bed, except for the occasional kick to my head (how did she get her feet up there? Seriously, she was just curled up in a ball on top of her bunny bear!), or finger in my eye.

Somewhere in the midst of the windstorm outside, the blinking electricity, Hayden awaking and other random stuff that got me up throughout the night, I was able to get deep enough asleep that I was actually dreaming. Ah, dreams! Ahhhh, sleep!!!! Anyway, it was a very wierd dream, as mine ususally are, and got to this one point that Chris, my sister Grace and I were being chased by a lady with a gun.

Oh - I should back up a little now. You see, I talk in my sleep. Talk, scream, babble, and on the very rare occasion move. I've never actually walked -that was Grace's gig - but I did one time fall off a building in a dream and awoke when I landed face first on my bed - hard. Most of the time, I am just an amusement for Chris, as I drift off to sleep and begin quoting absurd variations of what is going on in my head. He loves to egg me on, until he's done and ready to go to sleep and I won't shut up, but that's another post, really.

So, back to my dream. This lady has a gun in her pocket, and at some point we knocked her down on the ground, and she's trying to pull the gun from her pocket, and I realize this is a key moment we can overtake and disarm her. So I yell to Chris and Grace, "GET HER!" and I pounce on her, grabbing her arms to keep her from getting the gun.

This is when I awoke to Hayden wailing her discontent at me. And I realized I was on top of her, clutching her to me.

Ooops! She wasn't at all hurt, but needless to say, she wasn't really happy with me, and had no objections when I put her back in her crib for the rest of the night.