My thoughts have been swirling all week about the fact that my daughter, my baby, is about to turn a year old. I almost can't bear the thought! I find myself clutching her to me, especially during those middle of the night wakings, cuddling her against my chest, burying my nose in the sweet scent of her hair and warm baby neck. Willing the clock to slow down, for just a moment or two, and let me capture the memory of her wee hands clutching to my shoulders as she slumps, trusting, into me. Oh, what I wouldn't give to have this last forever! It breaks my heart, it really does, to have to face the fact that she is -literally - stepping away from babyhood and moving into her childhood. How do I bear this???
I continue to console myself with the excitement and joy I find at each new milestone and accomplishment she reaches, knowing that each stage she leaves behind promises something new and equally endearing for me to love about her next phase.
For now, I want to take a few moments to reflect on my little baby. My Hayden, and who she is today, on the eve of her first birthday.
Hayden:
Hayden loves books - books, magazines, newspapers, loose papers, anything with writing and pictures, and she studies all the details. She has her favorite pages in "Mother Goose" - Baa, Baa Black Sheep, and The Crooked Little Man. She loves to sit in her Grandma's lap and let her read to her, or to sit in Papa's lap as he points out the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth on the babies in her picture books.
Hayden loves my phone. Her daddy's phone. Any phone. Remote controls, the mouse for the computer... anything electronic. She turns them over and studies every detail, looking at the screws and screens, and delighting in pushing the buttons.
She loves "Tickle Bee", giving "5", blowing kisses, giving us kisses (usually open-mouthed slobber-kisses, followed by the hysterical cackles of an amused babe), clapping, and listening to music of any kind.
Hayden enjoys eating dried fruits, Cheerios, puffs, and baby Goldfish crackers. She likes french fries, and bits of chicken. Bananas, and pears are an occasional treat, and she loves drinking from a straw. Don't try to give her a sippy cup, though - she has no patience for those. She wants whatever Mommy's drinking, and makes the cutest little "aaahhhhh!" whenever she takes a sip.
Hayden is learning to walk, and continues to surprise me when I see her toddle by. She is losing the "crab-crawl" and starting to crawl more like most babies. She loves for you to chase her, or to chase you, around the house, and you can hear her squeal if you get close to catching her.
She wears her hair in ponytails most days, and is very patient when her mommy styles it. She's grown to enjoy bathtime, and splashes away in the tub with all her toys. She has fun with puppy dogs, and likes to let them lick her hands. and tries to grab their noses.
She is an even-keeled, laid-back little girl, full of life and smiles and energy, who loves to study the details of the world around her, understands almost anything you tell her, and loves her family, friends and teachers so much.
She's the apple of my eye, my heart outside my heart, my true love, and I am just so grateful to be her mom.
Showing posts with label love letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love letters. Show all posts
Friday, December 4, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Love Letter, 10 months
Hayden Elizabeth, my darling daughter, I find it hard to believe you are 10 months old already! Where has the time gone? I savor every day with you these days. It seems you are always learning something new, showing your personality and intellect. You are such a wonderful happy baby to be around, and you dazzle all who meet you.
We often have to stop several times around the grocery store, or on errands just to let people ooh and ahh over you. It makes me so proud to be your Mama, the mother of the most beautiful baby ever, the mother of the sweetest baby ever, the mother of the most loving baby ever. You are often compared to a porcelain doll, with your tiny nose and rosebud mouth, your beautiful long lashes, those rosy cheeks and the glowing blue eyes as deep as the ocean. And of course, the hair! All that lovely, dark, curling swirling mass of hair that halos your sweet face. People are constantly amazed at you, and I am constantly amazed at the blessing it is to be your mother, to call you my own wee daughter. You make me so proud, my wee one. My pooky-looky bear. My little petunia pickle bumble bottom. My little bit. My (and your daddy's!) tater bug. My stinker-binker-winker. My Haydie-pie. My sweet potato queen. My angel baby. My lovely little dovey. My turkey little lurky.
You are on the go these days, my little spit-fire. You have mastered that crawling deal (although you still love to prop one foot up to propel you along at a startlingly fast rate instead of crawling 'normally') (which, by the way, I like just fine. If I can teach you one thing, (no, strike that, I can't pick just one thing, but do please listen to this), it would be to know that we're all different, everyone of us. That's by God's design, and it's something to celebrate and embrace, not to shy away from or be ashamed of. It's a beautiful miracle that we're each in His image, yet never has their been two people identically created. Think about that.) You are always on the go, and are happy to chase us, or be chased, around the house. You love pulling up, and are so much better at lowering yourself down these days - much fewer of those 'unintentional' landings that upset you so badly, although I fear we'll see more of those as you get closer to walking. You have stood up several times and let go of your props, but this does more to mystify you than encourage you at this point. You are quick to crouch down to a safe 'drop zone' to ensure a soft landing. You are very unsure of what to do with this newfound skill and aren't ready to attack it with purpose yet - you only end up in that position unintentionally so far, like when you reach for a toy with both hands before realizing there is nothing holding you up.
You love to laugh these days, and will belt out the most hilarious squeals, especially when being tickled or playing 'getcha' with me. You LOVE peek-a-boo, and often go straight for your daddy's hat when he gets home, so you can pull it over your face while he calls, "where's Hayden?", and then with great flourish you sweep the hat away to reveal your hiding place! You two are so cute playing that game.
You also love giving kisses. You don't yet 'blow' kisses, but you will lean toward me and daddy (and anyone else lucky enough) and bestow the sweetest, gentlest, often open-mouthed kisses on our lips. It's something I love more than words can describe, and oh baby, if you were old enough to ask me for money or the car keys, I'd be in big trouble, because that just melts me into a big pile of goo when you, for no reason at all, suddenly lean over and search out my face with your gentle little kisses.
You are a master growler when you're playing. We're not sure where you picked it up, but you can growl just like a hungry dog protecting his food dish. It's not at all like a baby sound and parents of children in your class have often been startled by your unusual antics.
You love music, especially bluegrass. Anything fast with a good beat and tempo, you love. The other day, your Grandma and Papa turned the TV to some bluegrass and when that bango sounded, we were sure you were about to take your first steps (as your daddy likes to recount) getting to that TV. You reached up and boogied that booty in time with the music as you clapped and squealed your delight.
You have taken a break from waving and saying 'bye bye'. Just like all your new skills, once you've demonstrated them enough to show us you can do them, you no longer feel the need to prove your capabilities, and will then refuse to perform them again until it suits you. Oh well. I know you can do it. You know you can do it. God only knows when you'll decide to do it again, though.
You have become a master pointer. You know what you want to look at or touch or grab, and you have no problem showing us with that commanding little digit of yours. You point at the pictures of the birds at Grandma and Papa's, and they are happy to oblige you by toting you over to see the birds. You point at the bottle you want, the cheerios (still one of your favorite snacks), the toys, the phone, my keys, whatever you want, you know how to tell us.
Speaking of, you've also become adept at telling me what you don't want. You shake that head no with a ferocious decisiveness if I try to offer you a food you don't want, a medicine you aren't interest in, or if you disagree with something I've said. "Time to take a ride, Hayden", *shake, shake, shake!* "Time to get in your carseat," *shake, shake, shake!* Of course, sometimes you just enjoy telling me no, even when you really do want something. "Here's Bunny Bear, Hayden" *shake, shake, GRAB!*
Bunny Bear has become your best little buddy this past month. You love that soft, floppy beany bear of a toy, and you take him with you everywhere. Bunny Bear can soothe almost any irritation, dry your tears, and cuddle you to sleep. You love to hug him to you and smother him with kisses, and you stroke his soft ears over your eyes as you doze off to dreamland. At the same time, I thank heaven for Bunny Bear and his magical powers, I also fear the day we lose him or misplace him, and the effect that will have on your state of mind. For that reason, we try to rotate him out with Mister Corn, your 'sweet' unicorn, Pooh bear, and a number of other fluffy friends. So far, Bunny Bear remains unmatched for your affections, but not the sole source of comfort, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
For now, good night, sleep tight, and hold tight to your Bunny Bear my sweet darling, for we have big adventures that lie ahead of us. Namely, Las Vegas in a week for your first NACS adventure!
All my love, Mama
We often have to stop several times around the grocery store, or on errands just to let people ooh and ahh over you. It makes me so proud to be your Mama, the mother of the most beautiful baby ever, the mother of the sweetest baby ever, the mother of the most loving baby ever. You are often compared to a porcelain doll, with your tiny nose and rosebud mouth, your beautiful long lashes, those rosy cheeks and the glowing blue eyes as deep as the ocean. And of course, the hair! All that lovely, dark, curling swirling mass of hair that halos your sweet face. People are constantly amazed at you, and I am constantly amazed at the blessing it is to be your mother, to call you my own wee daughter. You make me so proud, my wee one. My pooky-looky bear. My little petunia pickle bumble bottom. My little bit. My (and your daddy's!) tater bug. My stinker-binker-winker. My Haydie-pie. My sweet potato queen. My angel baby. My lovely little dovey. My turkey little lurky.
You are on the go these days, my little spit-fire. You have mastered that crawling deal (although you still love to prop one foot up to propel you along at a startlingly fast rate instead of crawling 'normally') (which, by the way, I like just fine. If I can teach you one thing, (no, strike that, I can't pick just one thing, but do please listen to this), it would be to know that we're all different, everyone of us. That's by God's design, and it's something to celebrate and embrace, not to shy away from or be ashamed of. It's a beautiful miracle that we're each in His image, yet never has their been two people identically created. Think about that.) You are always on the go, and are happy to chase us, or be chased, around the house. You love pulling up, and are so much better at lowering yourself down these days - much fewer of those 'unintentional' landings that upset you so badly, although I fear we'll see more of those as you get closer to walking. You have stood up several times and let go of your props, but this does more to mystify you than encourage you at this point. You are quick to crouch down to a safe 'drop zone' to ensure a soft landing. You are very unsure of what to do with this newfound skill and aren't ready to attack it with purpose yet - you only end up in that position unintentionally so far, like when you reach for a toy with both hands before realizing there is nothing holding you up.
You love to laugh these days, and will belt out the most hilarious squeals, especially when being tickled or playing 'getcha' with me. You LOVE peek-a-boo, and often go straight for your daddy's hat when he gets home, so you can pull it over your face while he calls, "where's Hayden?", and then with great flourish you sweep the hat away to reveal your hiding place! You two are so cute playing that game.
You also love giving kisses. You don't yet 'blow' kisses, but you will lean toward me and daddy (and anyone else lucky enough) and bestow the sweetest, gentlest, often open-mouthed kisses on our lips. It's something I love more than words can describe, and oh baby, if you were old enough to ask me for money or the car keys, I'd be in big trouble, because that just melts me into a big pile of goo when you, for no reason at all, suddenly lean over and search out my face with your gentle little kisses.
You are a master growler when you're playing. We're not sure where you picked it up, but you can growl just like a hungry dog protecting his food dish. It's not at all like a baby sound and parents of children in your class have often been startled by your unusual antics.
You love music, especially bluegrass. Anything fast with a good beat and tempo, you love. The other day, your Grandma and Papa turned the TV to some bluegrass and when that bango sounded, we were sure you were about to take your first steps (as your daddy likes to recount) getting to that TV. You reached up and boogied that booty in time with the music as you clapped and squealed your delight.
You have taken a break from waving and saying 'bye bye'. Just like all your new skills, once you've demonstrated them enough to show us you can do them, you no longer feel the need to prove your capabilities, and will then refuse to perform them again until it suits you. Oh well. I know you can do it. You know you can do it. God only knows when you'll decide to do it again, though.
You have become a master pointer. You know what you want to look at or touch or grab, and you have no problem showing us with that commanding little digit of yours. You point at the pictures of the birds at Grandma and Papa's, and they are happy to oblige you by toting you over to see the birds. You point at the bottle you want, the cheerios (still one of your favorite snacks), the toys, the phone, my keys, whatever you want, you know how to tell us.
Speaking of, you've also become adept at telling me what you don't want. You shake that head no with a ferocious decisiveness if I try to offer you a food you don't want, a medicine you aren't interest in, or if you disagree with something I've said. "Time to take a ride, Hayden", *shake, shake, shake!* "Time to get in your carseat," *shake, shake, shake!* Of course, sometimes you just enjoy telling me no, even when you really do want something. "Here's Bunny Bear, Hayden" *shake, shake, GRAB!*
Bunny Bear has become your best little buddy this past month. You love that soft, floppy beany bear of a toy, and you take him with you everywhere. Bunny Bear can soothe almost any irritation, dry your tears, and cuddle you to sleep. You love to hug him to you and smother him with kisses, and you stroke his soft ears over your eyes as you doze off to dreamland. At the same time, I thank heaven for Bunny Bear and his magical powers, I also fear the day we lose him or misplace him, and the effect that will have on your state of mind. For that reason, we try to rotate him out with Mister Corn, your 'sweet' unicorn, Pooh bear, and a number of other fluffy friends. So far, Bunny Bear remains unmatched for your affections, but not the sole source of comfort, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
For now, good night, sleep tight, and hold tight to your Bunny Bear my sweet darling, for we have big adventures that lie ahead of us. Namely, Las Vegas in a week for your first NACS adventure!
All my love, Mama
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Love Letter, Month 8
My darling little girl,
I cannot believe you turn eight months old today! It seems like you've always been a part of our lives, but at the same time, I cannot fathom how you've managed to be here 8 whole months already! Amazing!
This has been a big month for you (aren't they all?). You have really taken mobility to a whole new level. While you learned to crawl just before your 7-month birthday, you've perfected your own little stride now - you tend to do a combo crawl and crab-walk; you're always crawling on one knee and one foot, as if you are about to stand up and take off walking.
Speaking of standing up, you love to pull up on everything now, and have started cruising around the furniture a little bit. You have no fear, and will pull up and try to turn loose and stand on your own, which often ends with you on your backside. That doesn't deter you - you get right back up and try again.
You started making kissy lips a few weeks ago, but have decided to stop that for now. That is your MO, really. You learn a new trick, repeat it enough so that I know it's not my imagination and that you're truly doing it intentionally, and enough to show it off to a few people. Then you stop, cold turkey. Like waving. You started waving a couple months ago, at least. Waved at your daddy, at Ms. Amy and occasionally Ms. Lisa, then you quit. Wouldn't wave for anything. Then, last week, you decided that was a pretty fun trick again, and you'll wave at anyone any anything that looks your direction. You're a waving maniac! So, I guess we'll just have to wait and see when you decide to offer sweet kisses again...
You are loving food - fruits, veggies of all kinds make you happy. We hadn't found anything you didn't like until last week. You don't like chicken. Specifically, liquid pureed chicken. In a jar. And I can't say that I blame you one little bit. Your daddy (bless his heart) can't even feed it to you without the gag-works starting. So, we're laying off the poultry for now, and keeping our vegetarian little baby happy with pears, pineapple, bananas, oranges, applesauce, squash, peas, green beans, and sweet potatoes. Although I have to say, you've started noticing that not all veggies are created equal. You can tell the difference in the green veggies, which you used to eat with relish, but now greet with the most hilarious (sorry, but it is) impression of your daddy's gagging when those beans hit your tongue. It's like you're trying to tell me, "Mom, I think you've mistakenly put lacquer thinner on my spoon. Ugh - here let me help you get this stuff out of my mouth. Gag. gag. gag. GAAAAAG." To your dismay, this show of distaste usually just makes me laugh. Eventually you acquiesce and allow me to continue feeding you this green mush, which you have to admit, is a step or two above liquid chicken.
You've also been enjoying some forays into true solid foods lately. Namely, Cheerios! Yum. You perfected the pincer grip months ago, which is the prerequisite for eating solids - so you can feed yourself. You love going after those little Os on your tray and attempting to shovel them into your mouth (sometimes they come right back out because you forget to close your mouth, or because they get 'stuck' in your fingers, since you forget to release them). We've been noticing this month your preference for using your right hand, and now that you're feeding yourself, that's becoming even more pronounced. Oh well, no one's perfect. :) You really love feeding yourself, and continue to get better at it. We keep trying new things to see what you like, too - you have enjoyed a few tastes of guacamole and refried beans, some bits of waffle, and the occasional baby cookie (mmmm.... apple wagon wheel, anybody?)
Your third and fourth teeth have been tormenting you this month - they're you're two front top teeth, and number three just started eeking it's way through your tender gums. You have not been very happy about the state of your poor little mouth this month, and you tend to let me know it around 12am. Then again at 1, 1:45, 2:30, 3:50, 4:37, 5:50 (for goodness' sake!), and by the time I get up at 6:45, you are dead to the world. Bless your pumpkin soul. It's all I can do some mornings to keep the petty 5 year old inside me at bay and not wake you up to join me, won't you?! as I drag my sleepy bum to the shower. One look at that sweet, innocent little face dozing on my pillow, and I just kiss you on your forehead and suck it up. Don't worry, my dear. Your time will come. I'll remind you of these days when you're 15 and stayed up all night talking to your 'boyfriend' on the phone and I am flipping your overhead light on and off and banging pots and pans by your head to rouse you for the school bus. It's out of my love for you, dear one. Wouldn't want you to be late! Just be glad your mama doesn't carry a grudge.
What I love most these days is your sweet laugh. When I blow raspberries on that little baby belly, or chomp those pudgy baby legs, you let out the sweetest little laugh, and it just sounds like angels to me. I could listen to you laugh all day and night. Speaking of raspberries, that's been a big favorite of yours this month. We've had to keep extra burp cloths on hand, because when you get in the mood, you'll blow raspberries for ages, drool just running down your chin, spit bubbles foaming at your lips. Nothing makes you happier, either, than when you can get someone to join you. My silly little girl. Oh, how I love you!
Happy 8th month birthday, my wee little bit. You're the best!
All my love,
Mama
Update! As I picked you up from school this afternoon, you were waving goodbye to Ms. Amy and said "buh buh bye" to her! I thought it was a fluke, but as we passed Ms. Mary a few minutes later, you said "buh bye" to her, too! You haven't done it again since, but it just may be the start of your first word! We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.
I cannot believe you turn eight months old today! It seems like you've always been a part of our lives, but at the same time, I cannot fathom how you've managed to be here 8 whole months already! Amazing!
This has been a big month for you (aren't they all?). You have really taken mobility to a whole new level. While you learned to crawl just before your 7-month birthday, you've perfected your own little stride now - you tend to do a combo crawl and crab-walk; you're always crawling on one knee and one foot, as if you are about to stand up and take off walking.
Speaking of standing up, you love to pull up on everything now, and have started cruising around the furniture a little bit. You have no fear, and will pull up and try to turn loose and stand on your own, which often ends with you on your backside. That doesn't deter you - you get right back up and try again.
You started making kissy lips a few weeks ago, but have decided to stop that for now. That is your MO, really. You learn a new trick, repeat it enough so that I know it's not my imagination and that you're truly doing it intentionally, and enough to show it off to a few people. Then you stop, cold turkey. Like waving. You started waving a couple months ago, at least. Waved at your daddy, at Ms. Amy and occasionally Ms. Lisa, then you quit. Wouldn't wave for anything. Then, last week, you decided that was a pretty fun trick again, and you'll wave at anyone any anything that looks your direction. You're a waving maniac! So, I guess we'll just have to wait and see when you decide to offer sweet kisses again...
You are loving food - fruits, veggies of all kinds make you happy. We hadn't found anything you didn't like until last week. You don't like chicken. Specifically, liquid pureed chicken. In a jar. And I can't say that I blame you one little bit. Your daddy (bless his heart) can't even feed it to you without the gag-works starting. So, we're laying off the poultry for now, and keeping our vegetarian little baby happy with pears, pineapple, bananas, oranges, applesauce, squash, peas, green beans, and sweet potatoes. Although I have to say, you've started noticing that not all veggies are created equal. You can tell the difference in the green veggies, which you used to eat with relish, but now greet with the most hilarious (sorry, but it is) impression of your daddy's gagging when those beans hit your tongue. It's like you're trying to tell me, "Mom, I think you've mistakenly put lacquer thinner on my spoon. Ugh - here let me help you get this stuff out of my mouth. Gag. gag. gag. GAAAAAG." To your dismay, this show of distaste usually just makes me laugh. Eventually you acquiesce and allow me to continue feeding you this green mush, which you have to admit, is a step or two above liquid chicken.
You've also been enjoying some forays into true solid foods lately. Namely, Cheerios! Yum. You perfected the pincer grip months ago, which is the prerequisite for eating solids - so you can feed yourself. You love going after those little Os on your tray and attempting to shovel them into your mouth (sometimes they come right back out because you forget to close your mouth, or because they get 'stuck' in your fingers, since you forget to release them). We've been noticing this month your preference for using your right hand, and now that you're feeding yourself, that's becoming even more pronounced. Oh well, no one's perfect. :) You really love feeding yourself, and continue to get better at it. We keep trying new things to see what you like, too - you have enjoyed a few tastes of guacamole and refried beans, some bits of waffle, and the occasional baby cookie (mmmm.... apple wagon wheel, anybody?)
Your third and fourth teeth have been tormenting you this month - they're you're two front top teeth, and number three just started eeking it's way through your tender gums. You have not been very happy about the state of your poor little mouth this month, and you tend to let me know it around 12am. Then again at 1, 1:45, 2:30, 3:50, 4:37, 5:50 (for goodness' sake!), and by the time I get up at 6:45, you are dead to the world. Bless your pumpkin soul. It's all I can do some mornings to keep the petty 5 year old inside me at bay and not wake you up to join me, won't you?! as I drag my sleepy bum to the shower. One look at that sweet, innocent little face dozing on my pillow, and I just kiss you on your forehead and suck it up. Don't worry, my dear. Your time will come. I'll remind you of these days when you're 15 and stayed up all night talking to your 'boyfriend' on the phone and I am flipping your overhead light on and off and banging pots and pans by your head to rouse you for the school bus. It's out of my love for you, dear one. Wouldn't want you to be late! Just be glad your mama doesn't carry a grudge.
What I love most these days is your sweet laugh. When I blow raspberries on that little baby belly, or chomp those pudgy baby legs, you let out the sweetest little laugh, and it just sounds like angels to me. I could listen to you laugh all day and night. Speaking of raspberries, that's been a big favorite of yours this month. We've had to keep extra burp cloths on hand, because when you get in the mood, you'll blow raspberries for ages, drool just running down your chin, spit bubbles foaming at your lips. Nothing makes you happier, either, than when you can get someone to join you. My silly little girl. Oh, how I love you!
Happy 8th month birthday, my wee little bit. You're the best!
All my love,
Mama
Update! As I picked you up from school this afternoon, you were waving goodbye to Ms. Amy and said "buh buh bye" to her! I thought it was a fluke, but as we passed Ms. Mary a few minutes later, you said "buh bye" to her, too! You haven't done it again since, but it just may be the start of your first word! We'll have to wait and see, I suppose.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Love Letter, Month 5
Dear Hayden,
I cannot believe I am writing to you on your 5-month birthday already. I keep thinking in my head, "she's just a little over 3 months old", and then I start counting and realize, "no, she's almost 6 months old!!" If I could figure out how to hit pause so I could soak every ounce out of how wonderful and precious and adorable you are this minute I would. Believe me, I try. Having you around is such wonderful therapy for letting go of all the stress and hustle and bustle of our lives. You often cajol me with grins and slobbery raspberries to stop whatever I'm doing to come play with you. I delight in those times when I can just flop on the floor next to you, ignoring my pressed pants and high heels, and roll around with you - tickling, giggling, drooling (mostly that's you), and lots and lots of kissing and hugging!
You are the most affectionate little baby I've ever known. You LOVE to hug me, your daddy, your grandma and papa, meema and poppie, your aunts and uncles, teachers, strangers, EVERYBODY! I cannot describe the euphoria of when you reach those pudgy little arms up and cling to my neck as you bury your head into my chest. If being loved could overflow my heart and make it burst, you'd be the one to do it! And then, if that weren't enough, you'll lean your face into mine and give me this great, slobbery open mouth kiss on my cheek (to be honest, I'm not sure whether you're trying to kiss me or eat me, but I love it either way)!
You're also such a little flirt. You'll decide you want someone's attention - often when we're at church - and you'll bore holes into them with your stare until they acknowledge you (often with this half-cocked anticipatory grin dancing over your face), and the second they do, you break into a huge smile and just bury your head into my chest like you're embarrassed at the attention. Of course, that's just for a second, because then you're up and trying to get them to look over once again.
You are still such a content baby, too. This week, your teachers were commenting on how wonderful you do at daycare - they said you hardly ever fuss. You just love to go there and play all day, and you're great at putting yourself down for a nap, and you've even decided you like to feed yourself - you hold your own bottle when it's time to eat (of course, they have to sometimes put a finger on the back to keep it high enough. If it were up to you, you'd hold it much lower. That's a pretty heavy deal for a wee one like you to hold for so long!)
You are getting stronger every day, though. This last week, you started trying to crawl, and while you haven't made much forward progress yet, you are definitely getting mobile. You tend to go side to side, backwards, or (my favorite) in circles! I lay you on your quilt, and sprinkle toys around you, just out of your reach, and you try so hard to get to them. You crack me up - you look like you're doing the breaststroke on dry land - arms and legs just flailing. After a moment you wear yourself out and lay your sweet little head down, panting. That's when you really start moving. You'll raise up on your tippy toes and stick that little bum up in the air, and with your head anchoring you on the quilt, you start navigating left or right. I've watched you go a full 360 doing that.
You are getting really good at sitting up on your own - you've been practicing all month - and you really amazed your doctor and nurses at your 4 month check by sitting in my lap as they came in to see us. We still have to keep a close eye on you, and keep some pillows nearby because you still manage to lose your balance and crash down on occasion (ususally on your head, and ususally the moment I look away, aarrrgh!). You're so adept at playing with your toys, but your daddy and I have decided we can save a fortune, and save the planet, by collecting plastic bottles - that's one of your favorite toys! If you see me or daddy drinking something, you HAVE to have it. It just breaks my heart to move those drinks out of your reach and not share with you, especially with that sweet little expectant face staring at me. I have a feeling that saying "no" is going to be a necessary evil at times. I hate to disappoint you, but sometimes I'm going to have to say no for your own good. You won't like it much at the time, but I guarantee you, I'll hate it.
You made your daddy's day this week. He came to pick you up from school (something I usually do because I work so close), and your teacher told him that when he got out of his truck and came walking by your window, you began squealing with delight and bouncing around your exersaucer. I was very impressed that your recognized him from the window and so happy to hear how excited you were to see him. I know that just tickled him to death. Honey, I believe you've figured out the fastest way to that man's heart already. It's all over but the crying. You're going to have him so wrapped around those little baby fingers...
Your beautiful hair just keeps growing, and keeps amazing people. Everywhere we go we get stopped and people have to comment on how pretty you are, and how gorgeous your hair is. It's almost embarrassing, really. People are just enamored with you - complete strangers have to stop us at the store to tell us how pretty you are. They all think you look just like a little doll, and they're always impressed with your hair and especially with how alert and attentive and sweet you are. Of course, you're over there doing your flirting tricks, making them fall for you, too.
You are so sweet, and so smart, and so happy. We just couldn't be blessed any more than we are with you, my dear one. I am so lucky to be your Mama, and I am so enjoying this adventure with you. Do me a favor, and don't grow up too quickly, okay? We're having a pretty good time, you and me, aren't we?
All my love,
Mama
I cannot believe I am writing to you on your 5-month birthday already. I keep thinking in my head, "she's just a little over 3 months old", and then I start counting and realize, "no, she's almost 6 months old!!" If I could figure out how to hit pause so I could soak every ounce out of how wonderful and precious and adorable you are this minute I would. Believe me, I try. Having you around is such wonderful therapy for letting go of all the stress and hustle and bustle of our lives. You often cajol me with grins and slobbery raspberries to stop whatever I'm doing to come play with you. I delight in those times when I can just flop on the floor next to you, ignoring my pressed pants and high heels, and roll around with you - tickling, giggling, drooling (mostly that's you), and lots and lots of kissing and hugging!
You are the most affectionate little baby I've ever known. You LOVE to hug me, your daddy, your grandma and papa, meema and poppie, your aunts and uncles, teachers, strangers, EVERYBODY! I cannot describe the euphoria of when you reach those pudgy little arms up and cling to my neck as you bury your head into my chest. If being loved could overflow my heart and make it burst, you'd be the one to do it! And then, if that weren't enough, you'll lean your face into mine and give me this great, slobbery open mouth kiss on my cheek (to be honest, I'm not sure whether you're trying to kiss me or eat me, but I love it either way)!
You're also such a little flirt. You'll decide you want someone's attention - often when we're at church - and you'll bore holes into them with your stare until they acknowledge you (often with this half-cocked anticipatory grin dancing over your face), and the second they do, you break into a huge smile and just bury your head into my chest like you're embarrassed at the attention. Of course, that's just for a second, because then you're up and trying to get them to look over once again.
You are still such a content baby, too. This week, your teachers were commenting on how wonderful you do at daycare - they said you hardly ever fuss. You just love to go there and play all day, and you're great at putting yourself down for a nap, and you've even decided you like to feed yourself - you hold your own bottle when it's time to eat (of course, they have to sometimes put a finger on the back to keep it high enough. If it were up to you, you'd hold it much lower. That's a pretty heavy deal for a wee one like you to hold for so long!)
You are getting stronger every day, though. This last week, you started trying to crawl, and while you haven't made much forward progress yet, you are definitely getting mobile. You tend to go side to side, backwards, or (my favorite) in circles! I lay you on your quilt, and sprinkle toys around you, just out of your reach, and you try so hard to get to them. You crack me up - you look like you're doing the breaststroke on dry land - arms and legs just flailing. After a moment you wear yourself out and lay your sweet little head down, panting. That's when you really start moving. You'll raise up on your tippy toes and stick that little bum up in the air, and with your head anchoring you on the quilt, you start navigating left or right. I've watched you go a full 360 doing that.
You are getting really good at sitting up on your own - you've been practicing all month - and you really amazed your doctor and nurses at your 4 month check by sitting in my lap as they came in to see us. We still have to keep a close eye on you, and keep some pillows nearby because you still manage to lose your balance and crash down on occasion (ususally on your head, and ususally the moment I look away, aarrrgh!). You're so adept at playing with your toys, but your daddy and I have decided we can save a fortune, and save the planet, by collecting plastic bottles - that's one of your favorite toys! If you see me or daddy drinking something, you HAVE to have it. It just breaks my heart to move those drinks out of your reach and not share with you, especially with that sweet little expectant face staring at me. I have a feeling that saying "no" is going to be a necessary evil at times. I hate to disappoint you, but sometimes I'm going to have to say no for your own good. You won't like it much at the time, but I guarantee you, I'll hate it.
You made your daddy's day this week. He came to pick you up from school (something I usually do because I work so close), and your teacher told him that when he got out of his truck and came walking by your window, you began squealing with delight and bouncing around your exersaucer. I was very impressed that your recognized him from the window and so happy to hear how excited you were to see him. I know that just tickled him to death. Honey, I believe you've figured out the fastest way to that man's heart already. It's all over but the crying. You're going to have him so wrapped around those little baby fingers...
Your beautiful hair just keeps growing, and keeps amazing people. Everywhere we go we get stopped and people have to comment on how pretty you are, and how gorgeous your hair is. It's almost embarrassing, really. People are just enamored with you - complete strangers have to stop us at the store to tell us how pretty you are. They all think you look just like a little doll, and they're always impressed with your hair and especially with how alert and attentive and sweet you are. Of course, you're over there doing your flirting tricks, making them fall for you, too.
You are so sweet, and so smart, and so happy. We just couldn't be blessed any more than we are with you, my dear one. I am so lucky to be your Mama, and I am so enjoying this adventure with you. Do me a favor, and don't grow up too quickly, okay? We're having a pretty good time, you and me, aren't we?
All my love,
Mama
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Love Letter, Month 4
Dear Hayden,
Happy Easter! Today you turn 4 months old. It is amazing to me how quickly you have outstripped that 'newborn' title, and are now, as your Poppie says, a real baby! This has been another wonderful month, full of new discoveries, new activities and many more firsts! 
This weekend, we moved into our brand new house! We're still getting settled in, and I'm sure the new environment will turn our schedules upside down again. Thankfully, though, we don't have much in the way of schedules at our house - every day is a new day, and since you don't know life any other way, you've learned to roll with the punches.
You are a pretty laid back little girl, until you get mad, and can make yourself at home just about anywhere. You are happy to tag along with us as we've run to and fro getting last minute items for the house, visiting friends, doing business, you name it.
Now, when you decide you aren't getting what you want (mostly food or sleep or Mama), you have no qualms telling us exactly how you feel! We can always tell it's coming because that adorable little bottom lip starts to quiver... then rolls down... then come the waterworks and plaintive wails of a frustrated baby girl! As soon as you have what you want, you are immediately all smiles again. I swear, sometimes it seems you're laughing at how you can make us jump. I'm sure that's just previews of coming attractions.
Now, when you decide you aren't getting what you want (mostly food or sleep or Mama), you have no qualms telling us exactly how you feel! We can always tell it's coming because that adorable little bottom lip starts to quiver... then rolls down... then come the waterworks and plaintive wails of a frustrated baby girl! As soon as you have what you want, you are immediately all smiles again. I swear, sometimes it seems you're laughing at how you can make us jump. I'm sure that's just previews of coming attractions.
This month you really found your feet, and they have been a frequent source of amusement for you. You love grabbing one in each hand and pulling them up toward your face as far as you can stretch. 
It's very helpful when I'm trying to change your diaper - the trick is getting you to let go of your feet long enough to get the new diaper on!
It's very helpful when I'm trying to change your diaper - the trick is getting you to let go of your feet long enough to get the new diaper on! 
You have also begun to give everything you can get your little paws on the 'taste test'. If you can reach it, grab it, and pull it to you, it goes straight into your mouth! 
Your expression is that of a baby bird reaching eagerly for a worm - the mouth goes open long before the object gets there, and you pull it to you with a fervor of a drowning man clinging to a life raft. Any object that passes within reach that you think might end up within range prompts the little bird mouth to gape open and you start leaning in for the kill. 
This new trick is a constant source of amusement for your dad and I, who (I'm almost ashamed to say) enjoy baiting you with books, fingers, toys, your paci, blankies, and just about anything else you spy.
Your expression is that of a baby bird reaching eagerly for a worm - the mouth goes open long before the object gets there, and you pull it to you with a fervor of a drowning man clinging to a life raft. Any object that passes within reach that you think might end up within range prompts the little bird mouth to gape open and you start leaning in for the kill. This new trick is a constant source of amusement for your dad and I, who (I'm almost ashamed to say) enjoy baiting you with books, fingers, toys, your paci, blankies, and just about anything else you spy.
You are a little chatterbox, too! You love 'talking' and 'singing', and recently squaking your thoughts to the world. There is nothing sweeter to my ears than your adorable coos and chitter chat. 
Many times at night, I'll wake up to see little arms and legs pumping away, and hear you talking to your little teddy bear mobile, happy as a lark. Your teachers at daycare say you talk all day - to them, to the other babies, to the walls, to yourself. They laugh at you in your excersaucer - they tell me that you kick back and lounge in the seat, arms out and face toward the ceiling and just babble away. 
You also love to chat while we're in the car, going up the road. Often, I'll sing to you - usually the ABCs or Itsy Bitsy Spider, or Skinnymarinkidinkidink, and you've started chiming in, which just tickles me to death. I'm sure your Poppie and your Daddy are excited to see you following in their musical footsteps. Let's just hope my attempts at singing with you don't hamper your natural talent!
Many times at night, I'll wake up to see little arms and legs pumping away, and hear you talking to your little teddy bear mobile, happy as a lark. Your teachers at daycare say you talk all day - to them, to the other babies, to the walls, to yourself. They laugh at you in your excersaucer - they tell me that you kick back and lounge in the seat, arms out and face toward the ceiling and just babble away. You also love to chat while we're in the car, going up the road. Often, I'll sing to you - usually the ABCs or Itsy Bitsy Spider, or Skinnymarinkidinkidink, and you've started chiming in, which just tickles me to death. I'm sure your Poppie and your Daddy are excited to see you following in their musical footsteps. Let's just hope my attempts at singing with you don't hamper your natural talent!One of my absolute favorite things is the way you've started lighting up when I come into a room. You would often smile, hesitating, at me when I'd come pick you up from school, but these days, you break into a wide grin and start squealing and wriggling with sheer delight. You wiggle around until I can scoop you into my arms, and then you just bury your little head in my chest and fling your little arms around my shoulders and you just melt my heart every time. At night, when you wake up, your dad or I will lean over to check on you, and as soon as you see us, your little face just lights up and the kicking and arm-pumping go into overtime. I love that when you get upset while staying with someone, oftentimes me just picking you up soothes you and settles you down. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be needed that way - just for being your Mama. Not because I'm smart or talented or beautiful, but just because I'm yours and you're mine.
Your little personality just continues to emerge, and you take such an interest in everything around you. You are so aware and alert all the time, and I can see your little mind making new connections every day. It's such a wonderous thing to watch, and I feel so blessed to be your Mother.
Happy first Easter, Happy 4th month, and Happy Sunday. It's good to be home, finally, and I can't wait to watch you grow up there. As your Poppie said this weekend - we're going to build a lot of memories here. The first of which is going to be putting your nursery together - finally!
All my love,
Mama
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Love Letter, Month 3
Dear Hayden,
Today you turned 3 months old! I cannot even believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was waddling around with you dancing around inside me, and now, here you are, the big 3-0 (3 months, 0 days. Your mama is the BIG 3-0)!
This has been another big month for all of us, full of many more firsts. You spent your first night at your Mema and Poppie's house, giving your Mama and Daddy a date night and a FULL night's sleep -my first since you were born (although I have to admit, I woke up once or twice checking for you...). You and I were in a car accident. It was your first one, unfortunately not mine. We were both okay, just kind of shaken up. Okay, you were MAD, I was FREAKING OUT. Both in full-on capital letters, just like that. All in all though, not the worst accident ever, and at least now we've got that under our belts and, fingers crossed, behind us. You even managed to sleep a full 8 1/2 hours for the first time the other night. Only, you started it at 8pm so Iwas still up at 4:30 with you. It's a good start, though and I'm not complaining. You also starred in your first movie, Get Low.
Your biggest first for the month had to be your first day at daycare when I returned to work a couple weeks ago. Honestly, I have to say that going back wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it would be for either of us. The anticipation is what was so terrible for me. I started back on a Friday, and the entire week, I'd wake up with dread in the pit of my stomach, thinking, "only 3 more days left", and then I'd scoop you up from your bassinet, let you nurse to your heart's content, then cuddle up with you as you dozed on my chest, breathe in your wonderful baby scent and nuzzle the top of your fuzzy little head. We'd linger in bed, clinging to one another, just as long as we could stand it, and enjoyed every minute together. Those were some good days, my wee one. As your Poppie would say, "Good times, good times..."
Today you turned 3 months old! I cannot even believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was waddling around with you dancing around inside me, and now, here you are, the big 3-0 (3 months, 0 days. Your mama is the BIG 3-0)!
This has been another big month for all of us, full of many more firsts. You spent your first night at your Mema and Poppie's house, giving your Mama and Daddy a date night and a FULL night's sleep -my first since you were born (although I have to admit, I woke up once or twice checking for you...). You and I were in a car accident. It was your first one, unfortunately not mine. We were both okay, just kind of shaken up. Okay, you were MAD, I was FREAKING OUT. Both in full-on capital letters, just like that. All in all though, not the worst accident ever, and at least now we've got that under our belts and, fingers crossed, behind us. You even managed to sleep a full 8 1/2 hours for the first time the other night. Only, you started it at 8pm so Iwas still up at 4:30 with you. It's a good start, though and I'm not complaining. You also starred in your first movie, Get Low.Your biggest first for the month had to be your first day at daycare when I returned to work a couple weeks ago. Honestly, I have to say that going back wasn't nearly as bad as I feared it would be for either of us. The anticipation is what was so terrible for me. I started back on a Friday, and the entire week, I'd wake up with dread in the pit of my stomach, thinking, "only 3 more days left", and then I'd scoop you up from your bassinet, let you nurse to your heart's content, then cuddle up with you as you dozed on my chest, breathe in your wonderful baby scent and nuzzle the top of your fuzzy little head. We'd linger in bed, clinging to one another, just as long as we could stand it, and enjoyed every minute together. Those were some good days, my wee one. As your Poppie would say, "Good times, good times..."When I dropped you off on the first day, I handed you to Mrs. Lisa, and you immediately began to curl that lip out (a trick you've mastered this month), and I began tickling you and talking to you to get you smiling again. I told you I couldn't leave you crying the first day, but I could leave you laughing. And so I did... Daycare has actually been really good for you - Mrs. Amy and Mrs. Lisa are both wonderful, and they adore you so much. You really enjoy all the swings, bouncers and other babies to play with. A couple weeks ago, they discovered you enjoyed the excer-saucer activity centers, and since then you spend a good part of each day playing in those. 
You especially love it if they put another of the babies in the other excersaucer so you can watch each other. They tell me you just laugh and coo and babble away! They're amazed at how well you hold yourself up, and how talkative you are already. 
You come home each day so worn out that you sleep really well, and are in such a good mood! I love the place so much - the teachers are wonderful, it's minutes from work, and best of all, they have webcams, so I can check in on you anytime I want!! Thank goodness for all your hair - it makes you easy to spot!
You especially love it if they put another of the babies in the other excersaucer so you can watch each other. They tell me you just laugh and coo and babble away! They're amazed at how well you hold yourself up, and how talkative you are already. You come home each day so worn out that you sleep really well, and are in such a good mood! I love the place so much - the teachers are wonderful, it's minutes from work, and best of all, they have webcams, so I can check in on you anytime I want!! Thank goodness for all your hair - it makes you easy to spot! We have also begun testing your dairy allergy this month. The only way to do it is through diet changes, so your Mama has been enjoying some much-missed goodies, like milkshakes, pizza and regular bread! Yum! I was so nervous that it would affect you and make you start screaming every night again, but after two weeks, we can't tell a discernable difference! I'm still holding my breath because it can take a few weeks to build up in your system, but this experiement has been very positive (and delicious)!
You are such a lovely little doll. You love to laugh and coo at your family, and if we talk to you, you love to talk back to us, saying, "oooOOOHHhhhaa", or "EEEeeaaaahhh", or "ooohhhWWWhhoo". You kick your little legs all the time, and your little hands have gotten so good at holding things. You love playing with your toys - your rattles, your dragonfly that hangs on your carseat is a special favorite (you'll grab one of his little feet and try your best to wring him off his perch), and your little lamb (a Valentine's present from your Mama). 
You do so well sitting up, you can aaaaalmost hold yourself up, and I can tell you want to so badly. Last night, while we were visiting our new house, I held you by your arms and let you stand yourself up on the hardwood floors, and you imediately began taking little steps! 
You're going to be a mover, girlie, that's for sure! I love your determination. I can just see you concentrating so hard when you are trying to reach for a new toy, or when you're balancing yourself standing in my lap. You have such a sweet, cheerful spirit, but you never mince words when you're mad. You tell us immediately when things are not to your liking, but you're quick to settle back down and start laughing again once we rectify the situation.
You do so well sitting up, you can aaaaalmost hold yourself up, and I can tell you want to so badly. Last night, while we were visiting our new house, I held you by your arms and let you stand yourself up on the hardwood floors, and you imediately began taking little steps! You're going to be a mover, girlie, that's for sure! I love your determination. I can just see you concentrating so hard when you are trying to reach for a new toy, or when you're balancing yourself standing in my lap. You have such a sweet, cheerful spirit, but you never mince words when you're mad. You tell us immediately when things are not to your liking, but you're quick to settle back down and start laughing again once we rectify the situation.Hayden, you are such a joy to me and your Daddy. You fill my life and heart up in a way I never knew was possible. I delight in every new milestone you reach, each new accomplishment and talent you learn. I couldn't ever tire of playing with you, of looking at you, of hearing your sweet voice. I think when I gave birth to you, you took my heart with you, and I won't ever be whole again. Part of me belongs to you always now.
All my love,
Mama
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