Which way did it go?

Apparently, that's the question with Hayden, whose poor little body can't seem to figure out which way to send fluids. Instead of going down, down, down as they are supposed to, her body wants to send things back up. Up is not supposed to be an option. Up is not cool.

In addition to gastrointestinal reflux, which she was diagnosed with at several months old, she now potentially has vesicoureteral reflux, also known as kidney reflux. Many people are familiar with GERD, where fluids from the stomach travel back up the esophagus, causing pain, inflammation and damage. We've been treating her GERD for months now, and with a recent adjustment in medications, seem to finally have that under control and she seems to be sleeping and feeling much better.

That is, until this past week when she began spiking very high fevers - 104, 103 range fevers - with no other apparent symptoms except not acting very spunky and wanting to cuddle more than normal. After several days with no change, we went back to trusty ol' Dr. V, who ordered the usual round of checks - strep, urinalysis, flu, eye, ear, sinus - and all came back negative. Hmmm... That's different. So, off we trotted to the hospital for a SUPER FUN blood draw. And when I say SUPER FUN, I mean holding-the-baby-down, tying-a-tourniquet-on-her-arm, letting-her-scream-bloody-murder, watching-a-nurse-jab-her-while-repeatedly-failing-to-find-a-vein kind of fun. You know, that sort of lovely family moment every new mom envisions sharing with her sweet babe. Got the results that night, which were that her white blood count and inflammation levels were elevated, so they wanted to start her on antibiotics ASAP and talk to us the next day to review the more detailed urine culture results and make plans.

So the next day, with indications pointing toward a urinary tract infection (UTI), still some fever, although much better, got the news that Dr. V wanted us to go back to the hospital AGAIN to have some more FUN with the bloodsuckers to see if the white counts or inflammation had improved. More baby-tackling, holy-hell-screaming, sweet-baby-flesh-piercing fun. GAH.
All the while, I'm still not exactly sure what we're getting at. Not sure why I'm torturing my child so, or why we're on antibiotics really, since we weren't really sure about the UTI. She hadn't yet mentioned the kidney reflux, so I was getting increasingly worried and frustrated.

Fast forward to today. I got a call just before lunch that explained a lot, and opened up many new questions and concerns. First of all, Hayden has a kidney, bladder and UT infection. That's the cause of the fever, white counts and inflammation. The antibiotics we're using are treating it, and she appears to be responding. We'll touch base Monday to follow up, and go back Wednesday for another urinalysis to be sure. Learned that they want to check her to see about this kidney reflux deal, so we'll be headed to Scottish Rite later this month to do some invasive, and at the very least, extremely irritating (to Hayden anyway) tests to see if she does have it, and if so, how severe.

I am trying not to be overly concerned. It's apparently not totally uncommon, and is treatable, and hopefully in Hayden's case, caught quickly. The concerning part is that even small amounts of kidney damage at this age can cause lifelong problems, and I am hoping that we have gotten her help soon enough to prevent most of that.

So, for now, it's more hurry up and wait, and while Chris is busy teaching Hayden her ABC's, I'm going to try to figure out if I can't teach her body North from South...

On a lighter note...

I think McDonald's has undertaken a rather misguided approach to cost cutting. Not that I frequent the restaurant that often, but in the past several months there have been several occasions that lack of time, relative proximity to the 'restaurant', and intense hunger pains have dictated I stop there for a hot (usually) meal.

In those instances, I have, without fail, been given a meal without any of the following:

• Napkins. Not a one. Ever.
• Straws. Apparently, I should just turn the cup up and suck my drink through the cross-hatched lid. That should be easy enough in a moving vehicle.
• Condiments. This especially irks me when they take the time to ask me while I'm at the menu board if I'd like sauce, and I don't discover the lack thereof until I have pulled away from the window.

Rather than saving money, they are in my opinion, ostracising customers and ensuring they will return only under duress or extreme circumstances. Of course, since my daughter is still young enough to not recognize and demand the golden arches, perhaps I'm underestimating the will of a 3 year old with a McNugget craving. Perhaps this is how McDonald's knows that I will return, despite the miserable service, terrible food, and lack of proper eating utensils. Only time will tell.

I'll tell you one thing, though. They don't skimp on the toys. As I found out recently, you MUST take a toy with a Happy Meal. Even though I asked politely that I get a Happy Meal without one, as my baby can't yet play with them, and I'd rather them save the wretched piece of Chinese Molded Crap for the next eager youngster instead of being forced to find a place to dispose of it, they refused. You must take this meal - which we will give without utensils, napkins or sauces - and the stupid toy, because, as the 'young gentleman' at the window so keenly pointed out, "everyone needs a little joy. Don't you want some joy?" I am not sure how Chris and I both managed to keep our act together enough through this taunting of our joy-less lives to keep us from telling the multi-pierced, dangling-earlobed, misspelled-tattooed kid where he could stick our joy, because while he was so insistent about the damn toy, he managed to get the entirety of the FOOD portion of our order wrong, cold and without napkins.

Somewhere along the way, that place lost the magic. Or maybe I just lost my joy...

Trial by Fire

Yesterday, I got a phone call from one of my very best friends that her house had just burned down. Entirely down. Thankfully, they were not home when it happened, so she, her husband and her infant son are all safe and sound, but I know the loss is just devastating nonetheless.

In a moment, their entire lives were turned upside down. So many of the things they hold near and dear are now a soggy pile of ashes and rubble. They have such a great perspective on it. While I know they will grieve for memories and keepsakes lost, they are so very thankful that they still have one another and that they have friends and family to help them through this time.

They are the latest in a series of updates I have gotten on friends and family this week, all of whom are struggling with their own trials and tribulations.

A dear friend is facing divorce, again, and this time has a baby who will walk this road with her. I know it is an added source of anxiety and sorrow for her that her child will endure this, but I pray that her son will bring her joy and hope and peace as well.

Another family is losing their home and farm. The result of people not keeping their word and bond, of a sour economy and a lack of work, this couple who should be enjoying their retirement and their grandchildren are now figuring out how to start over. They're watching the fruits of their labors evaporate before them. It's a heartbreaking scene, to say the least.

And yet another friend, who did his best to keep afloat during this economic storm, and help others to tread water, made some unfortunate choices that is going to cost him so very dearly. In this era of intolerance for bending the rules, I'm afraid it is a heavy book indeed that will be thrown at him. And while he is owning up entirely to the situation, it is so saddening to watch his family and friends suffer the consequences as well; innocent bystanders all.

For me, watching those I love and care for suffer so it intolerable. It wrenches my sleep from me and tears at my heartstrings. I selfishly am so thankful for the blessings that I have, for the road that I am walking which is so unfettered by obstacles, for God's grace in my life. At the same time, I believe in my heart of hearts that God's grace is with each of them as well. Whenever I witness someone enduring one of these challenges of life, I think back to the poem "Footprints", and I can see the way God is carrying them through the valley. I know it is hard in the midst of tragedy to see the miracles that are worked in our lives, but I truly believe He is with us all. While we cannot live a life devoid of sorrow or strife, He can find ways to lift us up and bless us through the grief. He can bring us hope, and love, and happiness, and help us continue on in faith.

Please, when you pray, pray for my friends and family in need. And I, when I pray, will pray for each of you.