"Little Miss Perfect"

Spending the last two days rotting in a hotel room fighting a viscious stomach flu has reaffirmed my decision to forgo spending a small fortune on television. There is so little worthwhile to watch, but sitting in this cramped room staring at the walls with only the sound of my piteous moaning was not a fun option.

One show that I came across totally and absolutely freaked me out. Called "Little Miss Perfect", it documents self-described beauty queens and their journey to win the crown, or at least their attempt. These beauty queens aren't teens or young adults, though, they're barely walking and talking toddlers and young girls. I'm not trying to start a war on this subject; I know there are people firmly rooted on both sides. That said, holy crap that show freaked me out!

I think my daughter is Little Miss Perfect, but I hope to all that's holy I never feel the need to give her a spray tan, false teeth, hooker-worthy makeup, and dragster-quality wigs, and combine that with a mini-Britney style outfit and let her 'shake her thing' in front of a crowd of adults and let them judge her against a lineup of her similarly freaked-out peers in order to prove that to me or to her. There was no part of that show or those families that didn't disturb me, especially the mom that kept explaining that her daughter just "wasn't competitive enough", and was "apparently okay with being average" since she wasn't dedicated to her rehearsals. I just cringed watching those little babies cry when they didn't want their hair teased, or their ribs squeezed by their dresses, or when they find out that they're not "Little Miss Perfect." I cringed even more watching the more pageant-saavy ones throw winks to the judges and performing dance moves that should come with parental warnings for a man touted as a "premier" pageant judge, who skeeves me out just watching him stare at these innocent dears. The gay director, who loved the sound of his own voice enough to write a song that he feels the need to sing at each and every pageant, was the piece de resistance. Watching him tell the girls to "own it" was more than I could bear.

I admit it. It is absolutely beyond me why any parent would do that to their child, except those that are trying to live vicariously through their genetically gifted offspring. I hear them say that the pageants give their girls "confidence", but I see a troup of girls learning to present themselves for judgement based on how they look, how they dress and how they stack up next to their friends. One parent explained that it's a fact that "better looking, more attractive people do better in life, make more money and go farther than those who aren't". Tell me this thing isn't a beauty contest, flat out.

I hope to God that my sweet, happy, stunningly beautiful, amazingly intelligent little girl never feels the need to compare herself to anyone else to know that, in my eyes,in her daddy's eyes, in God's eyes, and anyone else who matters, she will always be perfect.

For now, I'm going to go back to bed and writhe awhile and see if there is anything else nearly as pointless on the tube.

Winter Wonderland

A shot of our driveway and pond as the snow started coming down yesterday. It was a heartbreaking day for our family as we said goodbye to Chris's dad, and the silent snowfall added a beautiful, somber note to the bleary afternoon. The world's loss is certainly Heaven's gain.

We'll always love you, Papa.

First Haircut

After months of delays, excuses and foot-dragging, I finally acquiesed tonight to my Mother-in-Law's appeals to cut Hayden's hair. Our family friend, Barbara, who is an accomplished stylist, was over visiting, and the subject of Hayden's mullet somehow came up. Thinking that this activity would offer us all a good distraction, I mentioned it might be nice if she could help me out by cutting Hayden's hair. Getting her to agree was no problem at all, and soon we had Hayden plopped on the counter, hair slicked, and objects of entertainment on hand.

At first, Hayden was relatively calm, allowing Barbara to comb her hair without protest, although she kept a wary eye on her.

Hayden watched as Mommy practiced all sorts of magic tricks and noises as the true cutting got underway, keeping things calm for another minute or so, as Barbara dove in to the task of chopping that mullet off, and Grandma watched on.

Alas, the serenity would be shattered shortly after, when Hayden figured out the true plan. She let us know that this would not be tolerated quietly! As you can see, her Mommy was taking her threats very seriously.

Barbara made quick work of it, and we were soon done, with nothing left to do but sweep up the (enormous amount of) hair that fell victim to the shears.

After some consideration (and cracker bribes), Hayden decided that she was pretty happy with her new 'do, although poor Barbara would remain on her list the rest of the night.

Here, Hayden shows off a beautiful profile shot of her classy new style.